Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers in house S (4)

Hey Sandi,

You are so right, it is W reliving all her childhood traditions. I feel the same as you, her parents had their time. I am glad to see I am not alone feeling this.

Hey

I made it through my W going to a wedding with out me. She did call to check in on me and the kids and she texted a couple of times.

I have had a blast with the kids, as I don't have them by myself for so long they can be very demanding but its worth it.

Took them to the movies last night and they loved it. Got them to help put up the Christmas lights. Put lights across the second floor roof like my W wanted last year. Kids untangled the lights. just some great memories made.

W cam home with MIL and took the kids to her inlaws for sunday dinner. She didn't say anything to me about how I was or even say hi to me. MIL didn't even say high really, FIL sent along some bacon for me, that was nice. They did say bye

It was like one of those kid exchanges I read on here. It was so fast.

Now the house is empty and quieter. Seem like now they have these sunday diners regardless just because they feel like if they don't they don't know when they will be seeing the kids again.

I have a feeling this wedding is not the silver bullet I was hoping for. I will just have to wait and see.

I still find it hard to accept that my W just doesn't love me anymore because I am still feeling the same love for her, why not her to me?

I can believe that she is willing to walk away from me and our life.

I have been spending time with these new neighbors and they are great, they have a boy same age as ours and they are instant best friends now.

I just don't know why my W wont just give me a second chance. When I seen her today, she was playing her cards close to her chest, I couldn't tell how she was thinking. But there was no asking me if I wanted to go to the inlaws. She knows I have soccer but still they show up and get the kids and just leave so fast like they didn't want to be around me.

Maybe I am just reading too much into it.

Well, based on how they are presently acting toward you, I'd guess she has told them you didn't want to go their house on Sundays.....and maybe Christmas, too. That's the problem, the in-laws get their feelings hurt. Even if they aren't hurt, they will side with their daughter b/c she's their child.

Hey Sandi,

I stopped going when my W wanted to S but Still wanted me to go. I did go a couple of times but then I stopped going as I didn't want to be S but still doing the same thing as though we weren't S.

But if she asked me today if I was going to be there for Christmas I think I would go. I don't want to ruin Christmas for my kids when they don't know we are S.

Just finished Nomore MR Nice guy. The first half I seen my W in it, and the second half I could see myself in it. Also I could see in the beginning of our relationship I put my W last and at the last 5 years it changed and I put her before everything.

I have some work to do on me. I can see now why my W says that I try to make it sound like I am perfect and everyone else is the problem. Just have to see what changes are needed.

My W was a project and I was settling with her. All stuff in the book.

I am not perfect and I am going to have to start showing people that.

Hey,

Now back to reality. The wedding is over, she didn't run off with the best man. She thinks he is good looking but because of her bad self image she feels he wouldn't want her. This give me hope.

She was on a path of loosing weight and looking better but she has gone away from that. She sabotaged her own chance to be more attractive for this guy.

I have been on a path of looking good and loosing weight and I have lost some. Now my wedding ring wont stay on my finger. I haven't been on a scale yet but my belt needs to be done up using the hole that I used to use before I was married. Not going to the inlaws on sunday has helped me loose weight as there was just so much food. Playing soccer now has helped me loose weight. Walking/running with the dog has helped me loose weight. Now soccer is getting easier to play as I am not as winded as I was on the first game I played.

I am getting really close to going to work out, to get stronger. Mentally I think I am almost there.

I was wearing my old fall jacket and my kid tells me it looked terrible like I was wearing a large blanket. I grabbed the ends of the jacket and it wrapped me up. It was way to big for me. He was right, I was swimming in it. I am going to have to get a new jacket.

I get my hair cut more now, trying to look my best. This is something in the past I put very little effort to. Now its once a month. It doesn't hurt the girl cutting it is nice looking.

The book I read NMMNG, says I need more male friends, so I am going to be more friendly to my new neighbor.

I already put the Christmas lights up on the house. Last year I would feel that everyone was watching me do so I hesitated away from it. I cant be worried what other people think, If I think I should do it I do it now.

W got up late this morning and I made a point of say good morning to her. Not more waiting to see if she says it to me first. Also I hugged and told my kids I loved them openly and loud as I left for work, I am proud of them why say it softly so no one hears. Then as I left I said good bye to my W properly with a strong voice not the half asking soft good byes I would say before.

I plan to have a good day today

Good for you vise82. It sounds like you are on a healthy track. Keep up the good work.

Hang in there Vise. It may not get better but it gets easier. I feel like we are sharing the same experience.
Fogg, great response, it helped me. I keep asking "where did the love go?"
Be well Vise, be strong

Hi Vise,

I have been having some struggles and have not checked in with you as much as I had wanted. Just wanted to say hello. Sounds like you are working on yourself and getting some good advice. Remembering your initial posts, you have made huge strides. NMMG, indeed!

Not much to add.

best of luck,

RAI