Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers I have finally stepped up

anxiety is starting to get worst as days pass. I am worried as what is to come. The court battles , divorce. I miss my daughters so much. This feeling [censored]. ( think positive ) Everyone tells me i look good, since i lost weight. I dont have acne no more too. my face is clear like a baby's face. I feel attractive something i never felt when i was with her.

Why worry about tomorrow since it is not guaranteed?

Worry about right now, 1 day at a time Angel.

Be patient, keep praying, prayer does wonders, pray to GOD to remove any anxiety and for him to guide you in the right direction.

I'm glad people are starting to notice you looking better, but I don't think it had to do with her not being around that your acne disappeared.

Keep up the positive outlook!

Psalm 46:10
"Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world."

You're only a victim if you decide to be one.

Case in point: I've been abused both verbally, psychologically and sexually. Later in life I was sexually assaulted. I experienced a years worth of verbal abuse from my STBXH.

And no point in my life have I ever considered myself a victim. Those are things that happened to me, yes, but they do not DEFINE me.

When it comes to tough situations in life, I personally believe, people have two choices. They lay in the ditch of shitty circumstances and decide to stay there. Because it's easy to say woe is me, this isn't fair, it's all happening to me and it's not my fault. Or they can get up, even if it takes an inch at a time, and go, "well that [censored], but i'm going to live my life."

You can be a victim or a victor. The work is the same either way.

Oh. And for the record? Your wife didn't FORCE you to do anything nor did she MAKE you feel anything. She certainly influenced and provided circumstances that led you to feel the way you did. but She didn't hold a gun to your head and say "Angel, you will feel worthless and you are at fault for everything and I demand that you get a second job to meet my needs."

You need to take an actual look at yourself and stop blaming your wife for the insecurities and problems that you yourself have as an individual. Giving it to the lord, or giving it to your lawyer doesn't solve anything and it doesn't fix the only thing you can fix, which is yourself.

You are right ILYNOT thanks for your quote. I needed that today. ""For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"
Thanks to all this trouble, I have gotten close to the Lord , and I thank him for that. It has made me a better man and I have gotten courage to stand up for myself.

I have a feeling this custody battle is going to push my wife further away to no return.

Don't!

You are standing up for yourself. Your kids are important to you.

In the end she will respect your strength but for now focus on meeting your own needs. Spending time with your kids is a great choice.

In all honesty:

How much further away could she go?

Angel r
God commands the husband to love their wife and the wife to respect the husband. God created her in a way that she has a built in desire to respect you. However, you have to demand it. You accept nothing less then the respect you deserve. Not necessarily with words but with actions. Standing up for yourself and your kids....standing firm for what you know is right. She will get angry especially if she habitually disrespects you but in the end she will respect you. A woman can not love a man she does not respect.

gs9 true that . You are totally correct. I think is just the anxiety that is killing me. Since ive always put my feelings last. I am more worried on how she will react than my own. I guess this is where the whole 180 comes. Thank you all.

You can't control how she reacts. Her reactions are not your burden. Let them go. Take care of you and the kids. A WW is a very self centered person. I know my WW is only looking out for herself.