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I guess it's been a while since I updated. Didn't get the house done the way I wanted to, but still all ok. I got the name and number of someone to come install flooring last week. When he came it was someone that I knew through my sons karate school. Long story short, he sold his house the next day and was interested in my house. I received an offer tonight. I'm going to take it!! I don't have to do any more work on the house and can be out of here by the end of November! Woohoo! Exciting and I'm terrified. I have never lived on my own.
Now I have to find a place to rent in less than 8 weeks.

My H...well that is a whole other story. He seems not to be too thrilled about me selling my house. He knows I plan on moving closer to where he lives. In the next couple of weeks I will have to make a trip down there and scout out apartments. I will also register for a college campus tour. I can start a full-time course next year in the fall, in the meantime I can take on-line courses and do upgrading at the college. This will be the first time I will be in a classroom in almost 25 years. Arrrgghh! Frightening, yet so exciting!

Only thing I still need is a money tree. The house sale will give me a nice buffer, but the long-term disability company has denied my claim. Now I have to appeal. Ugh!

Somehow it will all work out. It always does!

So seeing two different lawyers this week. One for real estate and one to fight my disability claim denial. Once the money comes from my house sale I will also contact a family lawyer and get a separation agreement drawn up to protect myself financially in case H and I do not get back together.

What does everyone think about psychics? Just curious if anyone has consulted one about heir marriage.

I have no view on psychics.

Intuition, yes of course, that is confidence in our higher power. I prefer my own intuition to someone else's.

Really pleased about your house sale, what a relief. Still no interest in my house, so I am glad that you are relieved of the sale burden.

V

It was my birthday yesterday. I spent it with my H and his mother. She took us out for lunch.

So, my H got me a card. This is what it said.

My wonderful wife

Love is having fun together,
creating smiles in any weather...

Love is facing every day,
in synch each step along the way...

Love is taking time to feel
a closeness that's so deep and real...

Love is sharing all of life with you-
my heart, my friend, my wife.

Happy Birthday

Love H
Xoxo



So what do I make of that? He still told me last weekend that he does not want to be in a R, with me or anyone else, but he doesn't want to D. He wants to be alone. I'm ready to move on and then he throws that at me.

I move in 6 weeks. I don't know where I'm going to, not really sure where I want to go. Move closer to H, stay closer to my kids and mom. Really torn right now.

I know I'm not prolific poster like so many on here. I read a lot on the forum, but often don't feel qualified to give advice. I really would appreciate some opinions.

I am definitely unlike the other posters on here, but one would think that cards are chosen/written for a reason. Now I wouldn't try to read into it, but it seems that fog is lifted and he needs to process it.



Very telling.

Thanks Evil_E

I was starting to wonder if my posts were invisible...lol!

Yeah, he is sending me very mixed messages. For now I move forward....by myself. House is sold. Closing date is Nov. 30th and I need to find a place to live.

Funny thing is that I miss him less and less now. Weird... I never thought I would come out of this despairing pit of pain, but now it stings but no longer totally devastates me.

This card would impact my decision making process about where I lived less than how many annual alligator attacks were in each zip code.

Who knows why he picked that card? Maybe he felt romantic and wanted to cake eat having a loving wife for a moment. Maybe he wanted to remember how it felt. Maybe he likes feeling needed and like a good guy. Or feeling desired so he wants to keep you on the line. Maybe he picked out the wrong one (you get my meaning).

This talk about not R and not D would mean equally little to me. A marriage is a commitment. Without the commitment there isn't a marriage. If I was a parachute and I told you I wasn't going to open but I didn't want to not open, I just wanted to be alone in my backpack right now...would you jump from 20K feet?

Pass. You're not M. Move on and take care of your life. Frankly moving farther would probably give you the best mathmatical chance of 'waking him up' from his fog, but that's such a waste of time to think about that I'd just move where I wanted...which would probably COINCIDENTALLY be far the heck of this man.

PS- I think it's not a nice gesture...I personally think it's pretty crappy. You're grieving the loss of a marriage that HE ended and he's giving you false hope. He might has well of abducted one of your children and then while you were in grieving hinted that they might be alive...oh wait, just kidding...or am I? That's not cute or charming. That's sadistic, self serving, and disgusting...but that's just me

Diana

A number of things strike me, firstly you have a great deal to offer others, you have turned around a very tough sitch, sorted your physical stuff, dropped burdens which belonged to others.

I wish you could see that which I see, I wish you truly did, indeed it is important for you to know how truly far you have come. Especially with the health issues.

Often all it takes is just to say hugs or I am here, or happy B, on others threads. Bob and RD always have great posts, you can also say I agree with ... for me Sotto or Wonka or Sandi.

Try it, it will cheer you enormously.

My thoughts on WAH, keep treading your own path, DB is working for you, think, that's nice wording but whimsy of H to choose it. Remember the 100% rule, in this case not spoken words but written ones. I this As has it spot on.

Make your decision on who you want to be first of all.

V