I couldn't find anything about defused bombs...but, did I ever learn a lot about boundaries! I had a basic grasp, but my castle? The drawbridge? I have peasants I need to train? This is great stuff, V! No wonder you encouraged me again to read through it. I've got tons more learning to do!
I realize now my lizard panicked, too. With my current skill-set, no wonder. Lizard saved me, though...for the short term. Now to learn how to calm the poor frightened thing.
Once it is in your castle it sits there forever defused, Full of explosives. The army need to get it out of your castle.
The reason being that YOU can accidentally set it off. Not the one who dropped it in behind your boundary.
That is why you have time for you, away from distraction to process, clear and diffuse.
The lizard can always react, no way to stop the subconscious and it can be reprogrammed. The subconscious reacts automatically, as it is trained to do. It follows it's programme, after all it would be very awkward and difficult if everything was under the control of the conscious.
So your Lizard does most of the work to its programme. If you want to release then you can do so. There is healing work that you can do.
Recently I have done much of it on my fins. I came across a resource recently that I am using from Prosperity Place about releasing shame as regards money. I found it when I was researching and developing my mirror technique. I Googled 'power word' and 'anchoring.' Both of which I use regularly. There is a free MP3 on the site that I now use every day as regards money and shame. I found it useful although it can be applied to get the bomb out e en if that is something other than money.
//prosperityplace.com/audio/healing_shame.mp3 you will need to add http. V
Last edited by Vanilla; 10/13/1508:32 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
According to H, he agreed to MC because it was going to cost him a fortune to divorce me. He broke off A with OW because I was going to contersue for adultery. His official story is he's mad at me because I'm a blackmailer.
I don't buy it, completely. I think somewhere in him, he knows he is making a mistake. The children are really upset with him.There is the money angle, for sure. But I wouldn't stay and break off R with the love of my life for any amount of money. So, I call BS on his official version.
However, I'm not interested in a half-marriage with an adulterous verbal abuser. We start counseling in two weeks, and Retrouaville around the same time. I'm willing to see where it goes, but not willing to go on forever like this. I love the kids enough to try, but I am not holding out a lot of hope. We'll just have to see.
In the meantime, I'm giving him space to mourn his lost love, as much as it irritates me. Az had a good point...I would feel badly for him if his dog had died, no matter how much I despised the ugly thing.
This Divorce Busting is at once the hardest single thing I've ever had to do, as well as one of the most personally rewarding and personal growth experiences I've ever done, as well. I'm honestly still in shock the entire thing is happening at all!
I totally get the feeling of shock. I have a lot of denial too. I can't believe it's happening and feel like it isn't over for me.
Continue focusing on your growth as a person. That is THE awesome part of this. If you have to change, why not make it for the better? Why not make yourself stronger, healthier, happoer, etc.
We have to focus on that, and of course the kids. They are everything right now, since I don't have W. When I have them, I try and be great for them. When I don't have them, I am trying to focus on me.
If H/W comes back for guilt, money, etc. Doesn't matter to me, as long as they become happy about being there and want to be in M, it will all be ok. At least that is my take on it.
Good luck Ancaire, take it one step at a time
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
