Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Zelda - Dog Days are Over

I recommend a listen to this one if you've never heard it - see if it doesn't put a smile on your face. Florence & the Machine, Dog Days are Over.

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back

She hid it 'round corners and she hid it under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Hello friends, I am back from a trip of a life time. And I think I worked out some more in my head, and am feeling very upbeat.

And there was a lovely fling with a great Dane. That also helped.

My house was broken into while I was away, but I am blessed, because nothing much was stolen.

I go forward with the following goals:

To be better at occupation A, more energy, more focus.

To get more aggressive with occupation B.

Clean up my biz taxes and get organized.

Run at least a few times a week and make yoga a regular part of my life again.

Enjoy being single, dating myself, healing the bits that need to be so that I attract what and who I want into my life.

I am looking to find that peaceful, strong, inner voice and listen harder, ask her more, and make her my guiding light.

I had dreams for a week or so straight and each dream helped me understand the plaguing questions about who I was, who he was, what had happened. In the dreams I experienced his intensity and force of emotion, and his vulnerable sides and I woke understanding this was the attraction for me. I loved him for the same reasons I hated him - he was a scared, sweet and intelligent child inside and I so badly wanted to be what he needed to grow into the man I saw he could be, and was fleetingly at times. I woke from other dreams understanding that I wished to protect him as much as feel protected by him. His big arms, possessive streaks, bits of anger and tantrums helped me feel this, experience him as powerful.

So my goal for myself, despite all the beautiful psychobabble labels we could apply here, is to find and heal the parts of me that craved to be protected like that, and to stand strong and balanced for as long as it takes until I give it to myself and no longer feel that longing.

And to look at the parts of me that wanted to fix and love his issues out of him, and make sure I am never attracted to someone who broadcasts that kind of weakness and care needing again.

I miss him terribly sometimes. Molasses cookies, the way he looked at me and made me feel I was so loved, his singing. It is hard. That is all I can say. I have to work very hard to see other other bad memories when I start wanting to cry over these things. It is an addiction, it just needs to be faced like one.

I read a fun twist on an old myth.

When Narcissus drowned, the lake wept for him. The goddesses comforted the lake, saying it was understandable to be sad, he was so beautiful. The lake was puzzled and said it hadn't noticed. The goddesses wondered what it was weeping for then? The lake replied, "When he peered into me, it was only then I saw myself as beautiful in the reflection of his eyes."[i][/i]

I hope the Great Dane was a Great Dane!

V

Glad you had a great trip and are doing well.

I am happy. There is something the mediator told me about what he knew in his profession - that the real healing for both parties can begin after you 'walk through that door' - I feel free to start writing the chapters of my new life now that the last page has turned.

The viking and I are still chatting away. He is a lovely distraction, though I am proud of myself for putting more mental energy into real goals.

Hey z, so glad you had a great trip!!!

Can't wait to hear about the next story in this chapter.

I am so proud for you

V

Hi Z,

I've been off-line for a long time. I am happy for you.

Hugs!

Bob

Over the weekend, XH texted that he wanted to talk. What about? "I'm really angry at you."

After everything he did to me, the way he treated me this year...shaking my head. No words, no, *ducks to give, and I have a piece of paper that says I don't give a chit.

I've finally rounded this corner of misery and depression and I won't go back to it. That's all a convo with him will do!

On the bright side, business looks good. But it is nerve racking. I am happy, starting to think about dating, but just starting to enjoy life again.

So

Response Nada, nilch, nothing, not even a can't be fd. That would feed his ego. Press delete.

XWH wants to start a sweet cycle?

Maybe he's broke?

Or short of a resource or two?

Really start a sweet cycle again, maybe WH is broke spent his compensation just like my WH spent his redundancy.

V