If he is welcome anytime you are home why are you asking him to move out?
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
O, that sounds good but maybe a little wordy. I would be more direct and to the point.
"H, it is time to move out. You are welcome to visit the children- we can either work out a visitation schedule with a lawyer or you can agree to give me 24 hours notice before visiting them. I expect that you will act in their best interests and not expose them to OW because of her illegal drug use and also because it will confuse them. I will hire a lawyer at some point in the near future to iron out the details. Your belongings are in garbage bags in the garage, please take them with you now."
I'm done guys. I can't go on.. I can't fight anymore. I need to face it amd let be a reality that he's not coming back... thanks for all the advice and support. Hugs...
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
If the H acknowledges he is in an A, how can he put his hand on your shoulder/face and you cuddle up to him?
Is this self respect? esteem? A person only a fool would leave?
I constantly see this behaviour where the LBS is talking to the WAS about the ongoing A but still having sex, R talks, sharing activities. Doesnt this behaviour defeat the whole purpose?
I'm done guys. I can't go on.. I can't fight anymore. I need to face it amd let be a reality that he's not coming back... thanks for all the advice and support. Hugs...
Just let the ow win. And I'll just move on. This whole trip he's planned for her has really affected me. I don't think I can ever forgive him for doing this.. I'll never be able to trust him. Never! I finally told my mom the truth last night about him having another person on the side. I just cried. She cried. She's really hurting too. We never saw this coming from him. I was blindsided. But I'll just keep doing me. No calling, texting. I was planning on telling him to move out last night, he never came home. He couldn't wait to go to his wifey... that's all Azzork. I'm done with this. All of it. I need to let him go. I need to let be a reality that he's not coming back. This is the only way I'll get better. Is it fair I cry myself to sleep every god given day? When he's wining and dining her. No! I deserve to be happy too. I have a lot of love to give and i am lovable. But I just can't fight for him anymore. So congrats to him and new gf.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
I ask myself this too. The best answer I've received was that he's feeling guilty and so he's trying to make it ok with me. It's not because he wants to come back. About the sex part, imo I didn't want to be unfaithful even tho we are divorcing. I know it was wrong but did it anyway. I wasn't because of lack of self esteem it was just cause I wanted sex and didn't want to go around sleeping. But this has stopped. All of it will stop.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Just let the ow win. And I'll just move on. This whole trip he's planned for her has really affected me. I don't think I can ever forgive him for doing this.. I'll never be able to trust him. Never! I finally told my mom the truth last night about him having another person on the side. I just cried. She cried. She's really hurting too. We never saw this coming from him. I was blindsided. But I'll just keep doing me. No calling, texting. I was planning on telling him to move out last night, he never came home. He couldn't wait to go to his wifey... that's all Azzork. I'm done with this. All of it. I need to let him go. I need to let be a reality that he's not coming back. This is the only way I'll get better. Is it fair I cry myself to sleep every god given day? When he's wining and dining her. No! I deserve to be happy too. I have a lot of love to give and i am lovable. But I just can't fight for him anymore. So congrats to him and new gf.
O -
You know in cartoons when theres a couple characters fighting, and the big dust cloud comes up and you see all the limbs and stuff, and then the cloud clears, and theres just one of the characters left, and theyre all twisted up and the other one is just standing to the side watching? That reminds me of you. Youre doing all of this effort and all of this fighting, but you are just fighting with yourself.
Let him go. Let him and her "win". Theres nothing you can do about it anyway. Take your focus and put it squarely on you. Dont worry about what wll happen months from now. Worry about today. And tomorrow. Build yourself back up. Become happy, self-confident, self-aware, empathetic. Who knows what will come of their relationship, but the odds are stacked against it. Someday, he may realize his mistake; who knows where youll be at that point.
You can do it, O. Let today be the first day of the rest of your life.
