people tell me to get a L involved and get my girls , other people tell me i would be pressuring her and pushing her off, and that she is in a shelter for a reason, because of my flaws. I dont know what to do anymore. I either get me a L and get my girls, or i just wait and give her space and not pressure her. I am so confused :((((( I wish she would just come back and accept we both made a mistake. Me for not being there emotionally and her for always stressing and pushing me to make more money.
people tell me to get a L involved and get my girls , other people tell me i would be pressuring her and pushing her off, and that she is in a shelter for a reason, because of my flaws. I dont know what to do anymore. I either get me a L and get my girls, or i just wait and give her space and not pressure her. I am so confused :(((((
Getting a lawyer, gathering advice, taking actions as need to get time with your children = NOT pressuring
Sending messages saying "Can I see my girls or else I will get a lawyer", Telling her about the improper care she is getting at the shelter, and so on = Pressuring
Basically, you taking actions for what is best for you is GOOD. Taking actions with the intent of showing her what you believe to be her errors is BAD.
Originally Posted By: angel r
I wish she would just come back and accept we both made a mistake. Me for not being there emotionally and her for always stressing and pushing me to make more money.
The more you focus on the blue, the harder this will all be. Focus on the red and see what you can do to fix this. Of course, you cant "be there emotionally" for her right now. But now is the time to build your skillset and acquire the tools needed so that you dont make those mistakes again.
Vapo thought I would answer your question here yes I have been to see a L today she was very helpful I did not want to post this in my thread in case my w knows about it but she did explain a lot to me
Thanks Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
how can i show her i am i changed man , and that i can be there for her emotionally ?
how does this txt sound " W it's been over a month now that I havent seen my girls and would appreciate if we put our differences aside. This saturday i have a picnic from my job and would love to take my daughters to the event. I was thinking of picking them up at 2pm and dropping them off at 6pm. Does that work for you? Let me know what you think?"
How does that sounds guys ? Or should i just not send it at all.
Last edited by Cadet; 10/07/1502:58 PM. Reason: Name removed
how can i show her i am i changed man , and that i can be there for her emotionally ?
You CANT, because she isnt interested. But you can become a person that is capable of meeting others' emotional needs. Thats healthy and attractive. Later, if she becomes intrested, you can show her. Make sense?
My edit of your text. But Im not great at this kind of thing. Anyone else?
"W, it's been over a month now that I havent seen my girls and would appreciate if we put our differences aside. This saturday i have a picnic from my job and would love to takesee my daughters to the event. I was thinking of picking them up at 2pm and dropping them off at 6pm. Does that work for you? Let me know what you think?"
I think you can give the additional information if she asks what your plans are.
