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It's progress, D. Just, please, guard your heart from bitterness. If the fog ever lifts from her brain, she will come back. I can tell you're a great guy, great dad...be true to yourself.

Thanks Judy. Someone needs to invent a foglifter! I will buy a bottle of it. Today, she brought the 3 boys to school because we had a breakfast there. The youngest has a pretty nasty headcold that he didn't have last night. The older 2 walk in in sweatshirts, it's 50 here in the morning, but the youngest is in a tshirt. He can hardly talk, stuffed up and dried snot on his cheek. Meanwhile W is dressed to impress. She looked nice. Really ticked me off about s4. Definately can see who came first this morning. That is so out of character for her. At least the her I knew.

I'm not bitter, and I want us to work. Just seems like the woman she is right now isn't nearly as attractive to me. I've been working on me. She doesn't appear to have been doing the same

I wish this were all a bad dream! I have had a good morning cuddling with the boys and getting them ready for school. But, I really miss her this morning. This stinks. 1 step forward, 2 back some days. When I picked the boys up last night, I didn't go into the house. Not sure why, but I didn't.

Oh yeah, I am still hung up on this one... W was dressed up for the breakfast. When I saw her after work though, she had on a work shirt. Apparently, the outfit was just for a show at the school. Don't know why it matters to me, but it does

Good luck solving that puzzle. You never will. And theres really no point in trying. There are so many possibilities that its not worth trying to figure it out.

Let it go.

Focus on the important things. [edit to add: YOU]

You are right az. Having trouble doing that, its not really ever been my thing. Need to make it my thing though!

Gal: yesterday, took s4 to farm and he rode in a semi and on a bulldozer. He was pretty big stuff! S6 had baseball. Today, while s4 was at preschool, went and hit some yard sales with a friend. That was always something I did with W, but still had an ok time. Have baseball again tonight with s6. Tomorrow, camping with S8 and s4 and friends. S6 is going to a friends overnight. Sunday, get boys to church. Afterwards my sis is coming over. Thinking about a bike ride. Haven't done that this year yet.

Sounds like a lot of fun! I used to love bike riding. A few months ago, I found out H had given mine away because I wasn't using it...

Yeah. I'm beginning to wonder what I want him back for.

On a positive note, I can literally feel myself growing, changing. I'm moving forward. I feel pretty good about that.

Picked up the boys from school, and a mom (friend of W) asked us to go to the park. She said that my W hasn't really talked to her much this summer. All of our friends are against the D, so I shouldn't be surprised. Told her that I had been scarce, so as not to make things akward. She told me that they all hope my W wakes up and wants to reconcile. I told her thanks. Didn't give much details, but it's nice to feel supported.

Also, got an email at 415pm that my first child support payment is due today, and that I have to go 30 minutes from here and pay it. By the time I read it, the courthouse is closed. Pretty depressing that I am being treated as a criminal because my wife doesn't know what will make her happy. I remember her saying, let's be friends! This is what's best for the kids! I don't want to hurt you! It's not your fault!

So, I'm reaching the anger phase again. We have a ballgame in a bit. It's going to be hard to act happy and confident with that going on

Doing nothing is doing something, right? I just feel anxious, and don't like to also still. I know that anything I do won't help. Why is it so hard to do nothing?