Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers confused newbie 2

She filed for divorce 3 weeks ago. I wouldnt go around looking for small positive "signs" right now. I think anything you are seeing is you trying to mind read with a positive spin. Youve got to figure out how to take the focus off of your R with her and put it on you.

I'm sure I am grasping at straws. I have to figure out how to get the best me to come out. I used to be confident and happy. I turned into grumpy pudding. I am not nearly as grumpy now, but confidence isn't there, and I am working on being happy. I am still optimistic, maybe too much so. My mind is in "as if" mode, because I believe we will be together again. Just have to work the steps to get there.

Random thought from reading another thread:

All of the families that we hung out with before S, have started to shun us. They are all relatively happy, with no Ds. Since she filed, and it became public knowledge, the Ws no longer sit with her at ball games, etc. Maybe a coincidence, maybe not.

They, and her family, were all on the side of keeping the marriage. Lately, W convinced her parents that she hasn't been happy in years, and I think in doing so, convinced herself more. Rewriting history.

I found that almost all of my friends from before BD decided that divorce was contagious and backed as far away from both of us as possible.

Thankfully, Ive made a bunch of new friends since BD that dont know me as "the divorced one".

It may be one more consequence that she needs to see to lift the fog. Maybe not, but I wasn't nearly as attached as W. She put these people above our M for the last year, and has admitted that to me lately

We have 4 baseball games, and a school breakfast this week. So I will be seeing a lot of the W. Wish me luck and give me advice! And the occasional smack to the head!

W has been texting and calling me today. I asked if I needed to grab burgers for the boys, and she texted me back that yes S4 and W would like one. (I actually didn't offer to grab her food), then called back and said S6 would also. And could I stop by walmart and grab a school thing for S8?

Then she called and asked for my input on them getting batting lessons @ $40 per week. Not sure what she is thinking after saying they would be wearing 2nd hand clothes. Then started telling me stuff about her. Starts with kids, soon goes to her issues... it how her day went.

How do I handle this in the future? She is making contact, and controlled the talk. I didn't pry or push

We are sitting at the ballgame, and she brought her chair over to me. Grrr, makes no sense

I am not up on your sitch but it sounds good that she is talking to you. Listening and not pushing is the right way to go here.

W just wants to be friends, she filed for D 9/1. We have always got along fine, she just says she isn't happy, and doesn't want to try because she doesn't want to allow herself to get hurt again.