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Three kids and she does not want to try? That is crazy. When you have kids it is time to throw selfishness out of the window.

I agree, and she has never been a selfish person, until recently. I see more glimpses of the girl I married, but maybe it's just me trying to be hopeful.

I felt more like myself yesterday. Smiling more, laughing, joking around with my kids and their buddies. Felt more confident. Showed more of the good me, more than I felt even. It was nice to have a little of me back. A friend going through this gave me a music list to listen to. It helps too. Starting to make myself realize that I can't let anyone control how I feel anymore. (Step toward detachment!) Still feel unsure as to how I should handle W actions towards me. I want to believe that it's a step away from D, and I know that it's early on, so I am being leery. I hope and pray, but I have been led to believe before that it was getting better.

Am I seeing this correctly,

W is not slowing or stopping the D.
W is trying to be friendly, and seems like she is opening up more.

Therefore, I keep detaching and LRT, right?

I know it has only been a few days.
I have 180 in standing up for myself, being a little happier-appearing much happier and confident, started GAL, quit doing a lot of the nice H type things. Trying to be an even better dad. Listen more, validate more, offer no advice or opinion unless asked. Volunteer nothing, in talk or actions.


Possible consequences that she sees:
Financial (2nd hand store comment, baseball training cost)
Her friends aren't as close to her now (the ones she put ahead of our marriage)
Kids are constantly asking when we will be a family again, and S4 is acting up.
She will lose me completely, once I have had enough
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How should I handle it next time she comes to sit with me? I have told her that I will not be just a friend, unless she wants to work on us, yet she did it anyway. I don't want to ask her if she is ready, I don't want to stop it if it is a baby step, BUT I don't want her to think that I wont stick to my boundaries.

Bump... any insight is greatly appreciated!

You've already told her you'd prefer not to sit with her, right?

If she tries to sit with you again, just kindly remind her.

"W, I'm not being mean, for my own needs, I prefer you to not sit with me. There's a seat over there."

Use your own words, of course. Don't feel badly about it. Just respect YOUR boundary, and insist she do the same.

I did just that on the phone. She apologized 100 times. I told her that I want to sit with her ONLY if she wants me. Not as friends. She said that she wouldn't do it again. She thought it would be rude not to sit with me.

Am I doing the right thing, because it felt so wrong, and unlike me.

What's the consequence if that boundary is not honored?

I'm not certain that you understand a boundary. Have you read the link?

How should you handle her moving her chair to sit by you at the games? Can you stand around, instead of sitting? Could you move around, visiting other parents in the crowd?

It's really about attitude. If you aren't interested, she'll know it. The best way to deal with a WW is to act non-affected by whatever she does. She doesn't turn you on. You are too busy watching and enjoying what's happening on the field. She's like a kid sister that follows you everywhere.

I actually did get up and move around, talked to other parents, etc. Consequence to crossing it? She knows how I feel, and that she would be hurting me to do it. Which in turn will make me mad.

Maybe it isn't a boundary so much as a preference. But, it's mine either way. I will not let her run over me anymore. I'm starting to feel stronger, like I am starting to find me a little bit

I actually did get up and move around, talked to other parents, etc. Consequence to crossing it? She knows how I feel, and that she would be hurting me to do it. Which in turn will make me mad.

Maybe it isn't a boundary so much as a preference. But, it's mine either way. I will not let her run over me anymore. I'm starting to feel stronger, like I am starting to find me a little bit