Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Wife left, and I've only made it worse.

Yeah I know. I did email her today and let her know that I understand and I'm done trying. I said it's been 3 mo the and it is obvious I need to just quit trying. I told her I loved her and said goodbye.


2 days ago I told her that the bar she was supposed to go to with her friends next month was wrong. I said married people don't go to bars alone. She ignores all my emails, but responds to me that she isn't going their. She said she isn't going, not because she wants to work it and she doesn't want to be with me. Yet she made it a point to let me know she isn't going. False hope, I know.


I will fall off the face of the earth.

Johne, you really need to pick up these books we keep telling you about. They will help you get through this, you are stronger than you think. It is a horrible situation you are in, but guess what buddy? We have all been there! You have an incredible support group here who all want to see you through this. Heck, shrinks charge a fortune for this kind of advice and you can get it for free.

I implore you, get the books, read them, things will make sense. Set up an action plan. It's all about baby steps. Make a list of things that are important to you and set goals. Even as simple as "I won't call her today" can be a goal. It does get easier.

Also read up on the 180 technique. It's what has brought my WW back around to some extent. She asks now what I am up to and doing, I fill her in, not everything mind you, just bits and pieces. She is interested, but you know what? I don't even think I want her back anymore. I am quite happy where I am. I am going on 10 months of this and I have been content for the last 3 or so (I think, lol). It get's better but only you can make it happen. Keep your head up buddy.

Thank you. I will. My goal is to not call, email or text for sure. If I can make it past tomorrow and Thursday, I'll be doing good.

That is the biggest hurdle, Johne. Is breaking the cycles that do not work. I also suggest reading "Who moved my Cheese", Michelle mentions it in her book, it's like 40 pages but a very good read and offers insight that you may not have thought about.

Baby-steps buddy. Go 1 day without calling her, then maybe shoot for 2. It's hard, it stinks, it goes against EVERYTHING you think will work, but look at it like this, what do you have to lose? The constant text, phone calls, emails were not working, right? So change up the game plan.

Man this all just [censored] honestly. What happened to her?

What is the goal, when you make these contacts with her? What are you trying to accomplish?

Speak in actions, johne.

FALL off the face of the Earth. You dont need to SAY that you are going to do it.

Do you know whats more powerful than telling her youre done trying? Being done trying.

I agree. I am done trying. I mean I still love her and if she asked to come home tonight is let her, but I can't make myself sick trying anymore.

Well, made it 24 hours without saying a word to her. Wanted to a few times, but didn't.

Good! Can you do another hour?