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But why do you go there when its her day with the kids? Arent there other churches? I dont really know about these things.....Im not particularly religious.

I think its OK to sit together....shes still their mother. And what are going to do? say, "no, you cant sit here."?

It's tough, and the whole subject of Church & worship service can be touchy. It's funny how a wayward woman wants to continue to present her little family togetherness in front of church members. I did the same thing......and then break my neck getting home to contact OM.

Is your Church in that area? Is it a different denomination from hers? If so, do you want your children to attend both?

If you plan to show her how things will be after the D, then I suggest you attend your Church or find another one. Stop having lunch with her on Sundays. She's going to be mad about the lunches, but so what? She wants a D, so let her get a close up view.

Word of warning, you may not want to repeat my ^^ words to her. You may need to have an prepared answer, however. Don't say a lot, b/c it's not necessary to explain your actions, since she's fired you. Neither take a beating for not taking her to lunch.

Whatever you decide, just don't stop attending Church somewhere. You need the spiritual food.

I actually like where we go... it is not my denomination. The priest is my counselor too. Very good man, who I lean on alot through this. I guess what I am asking is:
A. Stay sitting with her and being supportive and friendly.
B. Tell her that she chose to not have me in her life, and it's all or nothing for me.
C. Just go to a different mass time, and tell her nothing.

I DO NOT want to just be friends. It tears me up to not be able to talk to her, but I want my W back.

I need to detach in the meantime.

I would go for either A - but be neighbourly rather than supportive & friendly, or C. B sounds rather like an ultimatum and best to avoid that I think...

I see your point Sotto. I like going to church as a family, BUT, I do not want that to reinforce the idea that she can have me when she wants me and not have the M. That leads to my confusion.

Another topic: Last Friday, I told her that there is nothing in our relationship that cannot be fixed. Her response was "I know". That hurts. She knows that it is fixable, she just doesnt want to.

When I rented the house, she seemed upset that I couldn't get a shorter lease than what I had to sign. Not sure why it mattered to her if she is "done".

She talks in circles now. I am not even sure that she knows what she is doing.

Day 3 of LRT

Tonight at a ball game, I stood by myself leaning on the fence. W came over and talked kid stuff, and kitchen stuff for the rental I am in. Then she tells me that she has had more "female" problems. I thought all that was cleared up 4 months ago or so.

She had laid out some pots and pans, etc for me to take, so I ran by the house after ball. We talked for a bit, and I told her that I am not quitting on us, and I am doing my best to not pressure her. She told me again that if she feels different that we will work it out. I told her that if she feels something, don't hold back.

Wish I knew what to do to make her feel a spark again. Apparently that is what she is waiting on.

Still confused on how to proceed.

Telling her you're not quitting on us - that will be interpreted as pressure to a WAW - guaranteed. If she feels different - aka keeping her options open and you on the hook. Asking her to share her feelings = needy pressure. You can't make her feel the spark. She'll have to feel it on her own. The sooner you detach and start focusing on yourself, the sooner she might feel the spark.

Ok, so GAL, which I am working on, is the best path to take both for finding happiness and the M. I have several plans for the weekend, so GAL will be kicked into high gear starting Friday.

Thanks!

My morning epiphany is something I have been told many times that finally starting sinking in. Be the best me that I can be, be happy, keep busy with fun stuff. Focus on that and my boys. Back to the me I was before I battled depression. If that isn't enough for her, then maybe she doesn't deserve me.

Have to repeat that like 700 times, and maybe it will sink in!

Thanks!

I'm not sure you want to seem so available to her. It comes across as needy, not romantic. If a girl you didn't like said "I'll always be here. Just let me know if you change your mind." Your response won't be positive. You'll thibk "ok creep. I don't like you..."

The thing to do to make her feel a spark? Nothing! Be patient. If it does happen, it will come from within, like when you were first dating. There's no miracle button. Stop chasing her and give her a chance to figure her life out.