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Lonelee, from my stuff to edit profile and put data all in signiture? I have wanted to do this but did not know how, thanks.

sorry for thread jack.

Thanks azzork.

I am working on forgiveness for sure. I am also learning to be respectful of H. Along the way that was lost. I was given several books to read that have been super helpful. I am working everyday on accepting where I am at.

I haven't been sleeping well and ask for meds from doc, but realized that wasn't the best idea with small kids around by myself. So, I started yoga (day 8) in the morning and that helps to center me for the day so that my grogginess doesn't make me do something that I shouldn't. I am taking it one day at a time and have felt happiness/joy this week that I haven't felt in months.

This can only be done after you are off moderation.

If it doesnt work today try it next week.

Thanks for the support lonely. I found the signature area. THANKS!

In my opinion I think that any positive communication that you are having that you feel good about is a step in the right direction. He, it seems, is reaching out to you instead of you pursuing. I see that as good too. No relationship talking anther good step. Just don't expect these things and that will help you stay level headed as well. remember baby steps to your goals.

I am not sure what Gamanon is.

He has stopped the gambling back in 2011 because he got us into a bad financial situation. He was able to fix the $ situation, but I didn't know about it until he had it fixed.

I do feel it is always something else though... it is replaced.

Lonelee, I forget to be patient and after a week of seeing the above positives, I begin to hope big and expect things and for him to jump back home (not a good idea). I feel I am good at it for a week and then I ask questions about us and then back a few steps. So, I help create my roller coaster because then I slump into woe is me mode and mope for a few days before I can regroup.

I did ask on Saturday if he was dating anyone...so that wasn't good and was the only question like that I asked.... So I feel I am making progress.

Gamanon is for the spouses and friends of gamblers, it is a twelve step process. Gamblers when compulsive generally don't just give up gambling. If they achieve some mastery without dealing with compulsions they emerge in other ways.

Can you explain "I didn't know about it until after he had fixed it"

V

He racked up thousands of dollars in credit card debt to a bookie. He opened a secret mailbox for the credit card to go to. He began working on a small business idea that took off. He didn't tell me how well the business was actually doing because he needed the money to pay of the debt. When it was paid off, he told me.

So, this weekend H had the girls. I was busy GAL and went to dinner with his brother and SIL.

On Saturday morning around lunch time, I texted him to see how the girls were doing. He said they were good, and then made a comment about my night out. He said he was going to the park with the girls and asked if I wanted to join them. I met up with them and spent an hour with them/talking to H about general things.

Around dinner time, I decided to grill because I haven't all summer. I asked H if he had dinner already, and he did. I made a dessert as well. The pork is really awesome from a local organic farm. I texted him about missing out on the pork chops. He asked if I would bring one over for him. I ended up bringing him one, and the dessert, as well, for the girls to have some. I stayed over until the girls went to bed, then I went home.

On Sunday, I picked up the girls to bring them to church. When I was there, I asked if I could do anything to help his day. He proceeded to question heavily about where this question is coming from and why I am asking that question. I said it was coming from my heart, my desire to help his day go a little better if I can. That is all I said, and then tried to plaster my smile back on my face, and when girls were ready, we left for church.

I know asking the question about helping his day and the food things above is probably considered pursuing, but I am kinda doing a 40 day love thing on my H that is biblical in nature along with DR. So, I am not sure if I should be doing both or not. I am doing the 40 day thing because I wasn't showing him the love he deserved. So, this is helping me to change that. Am I doing to much?????

Anyway, I thought I blew it with the question this morning. I also said, that I didn't realize me asking that question made him so angry. At about 1:30 today, he called to see if I took the girls shopping for the rest of their school supplies. He then asked if I wanted to get dinner with him at about 3pm. I said yes. So, the family ate together, and the little daughter wanted to go play putt putt as a family. So, we ended up playing putt putt and eating ice cream. I dropped them off at H apartment around 5pm.

Is this working? Am I doing the right thing? I am trying not to put pressure on him about our relationship, but I am afraid I am going to end up just in friend zone. I don't want to be friend zone, I want to stay wife. It is the little things he does that I am reading into that make me nervous. He will joke about finding me a BF.

When I had my DB sessions with a counselor, I remember saying when he will spends time with me during my time with the girls, then I know I am on the right track. That has happened twice now. He has accepted invitations from me to hang out with me and the girls.

Do I continue to accept these invitations? Why am I so nervous? I am trying to keep expectations down.