He got his arreage. Judge wouldn't even listen about the cost of the tools. Said we would have to go trial if I wanted to argue the arreage. I lost about $3500.
But, I got retirement.
He looked so awful, I can't express. D21 was with me and asked if he was sick.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I'm sorry you feel sad, but look at it another way, it's done, no more haggling over tools. No more living on pins and needles and now you are a free bird to live your life for you.
BTW, I'm sure he looked awful, but that's not your problem. He's now facing the consequences of his actions. BTW, the amount for the tools was fairly reasonable and I wouldn't think about it again. It's over and done...now it's time to look and move forward.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Heather, I am so sorry you feel sad. At least it is done. I am at work and don't have time to post much. I just wanted to give you my support. I hope you feel better.
Last edited by BrightFuture; 08/13/1506:57 PM.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I know it's a sad thing, and I understand you're still concerned about him and how he's doing. But I think once the dust settles, you'll be relieved that this paperwork is all over and done.
Anything that does or doesn't happen now will be independent of all this financial garbage. (I never understood how people could celebrate finalizing a divorce, but by the time mine was done, I just wanted to have a party to celebrate being done with the HASSLE. Life definitely got better from there on out.)
Now you can focus on getting your own finances in order, you know what you have to work with. It's sad that a marriage has ended but this was over a long time ago. If he wants to resuscitate it it's on HIM to change and do the work now. Don't hold your breath.
Had some strong conversations with my mom. She apologized for not being there this past year. I was strong. She went through a year's worth of her shopaholism and sent us home with loads of stuff which was a bit tough for D21 because she just saw all the money my mom had spent and couldn't help but think of college tuition---still $6k short.
Matt is dying. There's no other way to put it. D21 saw it and said he won't be here much longer. The three of us that saw him were overwhelmed at how his disease has progressed. I can't express the sadness.
I'm glad D12 didn't see him.
He essentially gave up his rights to her in court. The judge quizzed him over and over... "You realize what you are doing?"
I texted and begged him to get help. Horrific is maybe the best way to describe his appearance. Looks 20 years older than he is.
The sadness is more than I can say.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Ellie, this man has been smoking grass since he was twelve. Few addicts stick to one drug. When Matt uses, Matt uses everything from acid to booze. He has been a using substances for nearly four decades now and he looks it. For the last three years he has been going hog wild living with someone who loves coke.
And, I disagree pot can't kill you. It's a progressive disease and he is hitting the end. Grass can be more insidious because you have this false confidence that's it's not as bad as other drugs. You can still function... Get to work, do your job, etc... But, in Matt's case, he has been smoking morning, noon and night... Literally, for decades.
He wakes up, gets high... Smokes to get through the day at work with one hitters... Goes big once home from work with some booze and grass, then smokes before bed to sleep. Everyday.
God knows what he mixes with the pot. Even if it's just booze, it will eventually bring you to the point he is at now. He looks like he has cancer.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I don't think he is coking it up though. He always hated coke. Anxiety drove him to drug in the first place. But, maybe? He used to like sex and coke and skank is all about that. Maybe. I wonder.
He has been skinny as hell since this started. She is anorexic too.
Maybe coke is a part of his repertoire now. IDK.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
