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EMMess, I know what youre going through, I have and continue to be there at times. They have no idea what they're doing, just continue to pray and really DETACH and LIVE your life as she is no longer yours because to be honest, she isn't nor has she ever been.

You shouldn't have even responded...

"hey Im partying on a weekday and wont be home but Im letting you know cause Im responsible"...BS!!

STOP being a doormat! Set boundaries!

I am sorry to be so blunt, you are too good to deserve this!

ILYNOT,

That hit home with me. I sat there last night when I got the text contemplating whether I should have responded. I felt that it was BS knowing full well, that we have a 15 month old that is sick with a cough. Oh well, I will keep that in mind for the next time.

Thank you for always taking the time to respond my friend, it means a lot.

I agree. No reason to tell her to "enjoy".
Why respond - it's 2 AM on a weeknight. You don't need to be waiting up for her. Even if you weren't, that's the impression your text gives.

Don't be to harsh on yourself, GOD sees everything, you are being the better person and will be rewarded at the end, keep being the best EMMess you can be! Dust it off, learn and keep moving forward towards the finish line. Before you know it, she will be begging you!

Damn you are right Azzork. Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out.

I am starting to see that. I will make sure that for the next time, if any, I won't respond at all.

She called this morning to find out how the kids were, especially the sick baby, gave me this story about how she was heading home because she didn't have her toothbrush then laughed...smh. I told her, I won't be here, as I have meeting early in the morning.

my oldest asked me where his mom was, and I responded that she was sleeping at a friend's house. He responds with "I don't like this" I asked him "What don't you like? (he was on his iPad, so thought it might be the game he is playing) he responds with "The fact that she left you with 2 kids, knowing that it is hard" I couldn't help myself, I laughed and told him "don't worry buddy, I love being with you guys. Your mother just needs space and time" I don't know if I should be making excuses for her, or just don't say anything at all....

As far as boundaries, you really need to let her that you are not the only parent for the children and that you will not allow that, take charge but don't be angry nor mean, be heard but not controlling, you are standing up for yourself and your kids now.

You should document everything and take pictures etc, whatever proof you can use in case it goes down the legal path down the road.

I have plenty of pic, videos, documents just in case she tries to take my kids away, you should too.

Stop living with your mom and stay at home, she is cake eating at your expense and your letting it...

Remember to keep posting here so you don't take it out or say something you shouldn't to her.

EMMess, take it from me, you'll find no answers at the bottom of a bottle.

Staying with the kids in the home is the best choice. Enjoy you kids each and every day.

Be patient, be well.

Thank you so much ILYNOT and Mutatio, you guys are both great, I have been keeping up with both of your sitch and plan to continue to support you both.

Today is a mixed bag of feelings for me. I am trying to remain strong through this. I have decided to stop living at my mothers to accommodate her needing space. My thoughts are that if she needs the space then she should arrange it herself. I am keeping things civil and cordial.

She has reached out to me today seeing if I can leave work early to take our baby to the DRs, as she has meetings all day till 3:30pm. I have no problem with that, so I am heading out of work early (my kids are my priority).

I woke up missing her and wishing that things were not as they are, but I understand that this is reality and I must remain strong and just push forward. I am going to worry about the right now, not what it was or what it could be.

I came across this quote, which seems to bring me some strength and comfort, I would share it with you both:

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.”
― Walter Anderson

Again, thank you so much for reaching out and helping me through this.