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It [censored] man. There's no way around it. You're still very early in the process. I don't think I really got a "good" nights sleep for maybe 9-10 weeks after BD. And even then, it wasn't consistent. I'm now out 5 months and overall sleep is back to normal but I still have off nights where I get maybe 3-4 hours. I also lost around 40 pounds in that first 2 months, and am now down an additional 10 pounds since then. Although the more recent weight loss was more due to exercise and slightly reduced appetite than outright starvation, which it felt like at first.

You are just past the starting line in a 26 mile marathon. I know it's hard right now, but keep following the advice you get here, the 37 rules, etc. Try to work on GAL activities, and you probably won't even enjoy them much, but do it anyway. You sort of have to fake it til you make it, which may take a few more months. All I can tell you is that, with time and effort, it WILL get easier. Only in the past week or so do I honestly feel like I have started to turn a corner and my days are overall more positive than negative. And as I said, it's just over 5 months since BD. So yeah, you may have a few more rough weeks or months ahead. Stick with the program, and keep posting.

GAL is working pretty good so far. And the sleep is hit or miss. One night it's really good, the next awful.

180's and Last Resort are going as planned too, but the more and more I detach, the more I think it isn't working. I feel as if she's drifting farther away. Then, I'll get a chatty email that just confuses the hell out of me.

I'm only down 10 pounds which has been a nice surprise. Don't enjoy the lack of sleep/depression headaches, so persistent.

I started detaching the day after I found out about A. I'm getting better as time goes on. Since then it's almost like my H is running the other way. I don't think it will actually work. Everyone once in a while I get some friendly communication. And a lot of "sorry I'm hurting you", which I think is baloney. I think he's sorry he feels guilty.

Sleep [censored] but I am enjoying the weight loss. Partially from constant nausea and partly because I'm getting more active.

What ever happens we have to take care of our selfs.

Here's how Ive read is a way you can think about it. If you go for a walk and she is three steps ahead of you the whole way, what happens if you just stop walking? It may be some time before she even realizes you arent walking anymore. But from your perspective, you can watch her continue to get farther and farther away, right?

Be patient and trust the process. Giving her the space she is asking for is the only way to go. If you run to catch up now, she will never turn around to check if youre still back there.

Yes, we have to take care of ourselves. Some days my appetite is good, other days I can't eat much at all.

Detaching goes good on some days, badly on others. It hurts to do it because I miss my friend terribly. But, I have to remember, that friend deceived me and betrayed me.

I completely understand that.

Seems as if every day is a tiny step forward, and then the next is a big step back.

I guess what is bothering me most, is that 180's/LRT seems to be creating more distance. I don't initiate any contact, it comes from her via email 3-5 times a week.

I also think that in the detaching process, not looking at their social media pages is helpful. I've weened myself off of that, but, when all of my family is friends with her on Facebook (2 siblings, 2 in-laws, 6 nieces/nephews, and my Mother), it's tough not to see what she's liking/posting. My family isn't aware of anything yet, I've not told them because it wouldn't do any good, only make matters worse. But she's been liking all their back to school photos and so forth.

She came Saturday to pick up a few kitchen items for her furnished corporate apartment. She also picked up her mail, in the mail was a USPS change of address verification. So, I guess she is changing her address during this "trial separation".

5 mile walk after work with a buddy for my GAL process.

Unfortunately there's no guarantee any of this will work.

When she comes over, don't hang around. I suggest you not be there when she's around.

You mentioned that she said she wanted to do things that she couldn't do married. Was there anything that you were against? What did the two of you ever argue about before all this happened?