Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Wife says "NO" and acting like I have no rights

In addition,

I may be speaking to wife in a few hours and to stay on point:

1. I do not tell her I am moving forward with my life.
2. Do not tell her that the relationship has no guidelines in terms of seeing other people and that if it comes to that we are free to do so. (I brought up this the beginning of the separation)

Any other suggestions is appreciated.

Fdu ... no idea about that xyz system

As far as speaking to the wife:

1. No R talks
2. No R talks
3. PMA
4. Dress well
5. Keep convo light ... and brief.
6. YOU end it .. have somewhere to go .. as if its on fire, excuse yourself, say goodbye with a smile and leave.

Thanks CaliGuy!

I wish you were living down the street. I would pull out the smoker and get some bbq going and also get the Grill going for some appetizers and what ever drink you want lemonade or an adult bev and talk to you about how to stay the course and become stronger and a better Fdu.

Good thing I am not .. would hate to gain back all that weight I lost when W BD me

FDU ... this is the hardest thing you will do ... stay the course and continue on your path. Figure out who you want FDU 2.0 to look like.

Good morning.

As always humbled and Grateful, I extend my heart felt "Thank You" to everyone. I appreciate it and if my situation can shed light on what to do and especially what not to do then God is Great!

In the hopes of moving forward and as minute as this sounds I have to ask if it's a good idea. I have kept the house tidy in the midst of all of this, but I want to get rid of somethings as they remind me of the recent past but even more for example...I never liked the bed top cushion that she got for the Master Room that sits on top of the mattress. It's foamy and uncomfortable and I can't sleep well. I put up with it for her but I want it out and gone.

In addition, there are things she left behind that I figure is not important or useful to her (no pun intended...lol). Should I give her the courtesy of asking her if she wants it or should I just get rid of the items?

Can you make a collage out of the pieces of the stuff? That might be a creative and cathartic use for it.

I would just make a list, send e-mail w/ list saying I assume you don't want this stuff, so unless you tell me otherwise I'm going to donate or throw them out.

I'd be tempted to tell her to come get it and do what she wants w/ it, as you should have to waste your time on her detritus. But, that is probably more grief than it's worth & probably not skillful DBing.

Don't you have any storage space? Then ask her if she wants it.

On the kids: Take charge. Stop relying on her. You may have to prove in court at some point that you are a responsible parent who can take care of the kids. She doesn't seem to think you are.

Get the school supply list and find out from W what they have. Not what they need, because you'll figure that out from the list that you get from the school, but what on the list she already got them. Send her an e-mail about this so you have documentation of your ability to think for yourself and figure out how to take care of their needs.

Get them what they need at your house so you don't depend on her sending clothes with them to you. after all, they're not 'visiting'. It's their home that they are coming home to.

Thanks!

I will do as suggested.

Today for some reason while I was driving for the very first time I literally said to myself that I hated my wife. It came out of no where. I am not sure if there is a progressive stage I am going through but I'm not hurting as bad but now I'm like pissed.

The other day she said "oh I thought you were done being a Dad. What they hell is that? Is she freaken nuts? Who stops being a Dad? I am very close and was extremely involved in my boys lives until they moved and hour and 1/2 away.

I am struggling on whether to move closer but that makes getting to work longer and back as well. Iy also compromises my being there on time and appointments. moving closer will not let me spend more time with my kids...since I will be on the road more.

Wife asked about work schedule and mentioned that I need to see the kids more than on the weekend. She freakened move not me!

She's just all over the place, isn't she... Doesn't know what she wants. First you can't see the kids, then you need to see them more often.

I wouldn't move - you're established in your home and that is your kids' address, right? It sounds way too early to make any big decisions like that.

fdu, I'm new here and my situation is different then yours but I am here to support you buddy.

I think you must except she's gone. She will either come back or not. Free will, her choice.

In regards to your children you have a stronger hand. I believe she does not have a legal leg to stand on by choosing to move the kids that far and not let you see them.

Although you should pick your battles carefully the snatching of children battle you will win. It may "sober her up" and make her realize she can't run roughshod over you. You get your kids and she learns You don't tug on superman's cape, You don't spit into the wind, You don't pull the mask off that old lone ranger And you don't mess around with fdu. love that song, keep the faith.