...sad next year we were going to plan for kids now at 35 I may never have children what a life , abandoned and thrown to the side like a piece of garbage
My dad had my half-brother when he was 61, believe me you are still plenty young enough to start a family whether it's with your W or someone else As for being thrown out like a piece of garbage, I think we all feel like that at some point. But try to understand, your W is suffering badly right now. She may seem calm and collected, but inside her a storm of confusion is boiling. She feels bad about what she's done but RIGHT NOW she feels like it's the best course of action. She may very well change her mind later. If you love her like I think you do then try and be sympathetic to what she's going through. She doesn't want to hurt you.
Quote:
Family and friends keep telling me to move on and forget about her, I'm trying
Why? Have you read DR? Do you remember the part where Michele says friends and family say that because they think it'll stop your pain, but it's the WRONG thing for them to say and it will NOT stop your pain? Decide for yourself whether you want to stand or not, and if you stand then tell your friends and family that the BEST thing they can do is SUPPORT you and trust your decision.
Hello Aj8. I am new to your sitch and am not fully up to speed, you do seem to be getting some great guidance from some top notch guys.
What jumped out at me from your last few posts, is that you seem to be giving up. If you are going to do so, consider these three reasons first. Are you doing it because:
You are feeling hurt? You are feeling frustrated? You feel you are up against the wall?
If it's any, or all of these, then rethink your plan and goals the start acting on them and become solution oriented as a result.
I know this is tough, it's what DB'ing represents are you up to it?
The only reasons for giving up, none of which I see in your posts are:
You are in an abusive relationship You refuse to do any more, You've hit my limit, you are not prepared to do anymore, your sitch has gone on too long. Your boundaries have been broken too many times.� Your W is in a permanent relationship, i.e. has got married
Sorry if this appears tough and you don't know me, so feel free to ignore me. I simply see someone who needs to remind themselves of what they stand for and there's no softly, softly way to do that, sometimes a few feathers need ruffling.
Avanti formerly known as Beagley but with the help of DB, I turned some significant corners and a name change seems appropriate.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
what a life , abandoned and thrown to the side like a piece of garbage 
As for being thrown out like a piece of garbage, I think we all feel like that at some point. But try to understand, your W is suffering badly right now. She may seem calm and collected, but inside her a storm of confusion is boiling. She feels bad about what she's done but RIGHT NOW she feels like it's the best course of action. She may very well change her mind later. If you love her like I think you do then try and be sympathetic to what she's going through. She doesn't want to hurt you.