It feels as if she is trying to normalize this broken relationship with me. I am not ready for that and may never be. She will say that she tries to "reach out" to me but that I don't respond and shoot her down. And that feels like manipulation.
Bottom line - what am I doing? I was trying to save my marriage/family but the lines are so blurred now.
1). Divorce - play nice for sake of kids and be her friend.
2). Divorce - only talk about kids logistics and be friendly
3). Keep trying to find the balance and try to be the better option.
It feels as if she is trying to normalize this broken relationship with me. I am not ready for that and may never be. She will say that she tries to "reach out" to me but that I don't respond and shoot her down. And that feels like manipulation.
Bottom line - what am I doing? I was trying to save my marriage/family but the lines are so blurred now.
1). Divorce - play nice for sake of kids and be her friend.
2). Divorce - only talk about kids logistics and be friendly
3). Keep trying to find the balance and try to be the better option.
Forget all ^^ that! Focus on the positives and what's working.
If I were you, I'd just simply reply to the photos with either one of these options:
I will focus on positives. I have a knack for only seeing the negatives. That is a major issue of my life that I working on getting rid of. Being negative only sends out negative vibes and I certainly don't want to do that to me or anyone.
I sent two short replies -
Cool! to the photos
Too bad about the boot - to the boot text
Enough pontificating on it - I will move on to other subjects like work!!!
Thanks all for the definitions and motivations and appropriate response suggestions.
OK - I will put my Mom hat on - sent the message bright and cheery.
This is so hard becuase it feels like she is trying to normalize everything which I don't want. I don't want to be her friend. I want to be her Wife. It feels like if I engage in friendly banter then she gets the friendship and I get the shaft.
Again, I feel like I am being forced along a death march and I have to be cheery about it. This feels so counterintuitive but I sent the message bright and cheery.
Again, what is with the sudden increase in the texts?
Of course the answer is Honey. I just don't want to be sucker punched again.
My big fear here is: What if she is sending these same photos and texts to AP?
OK - that is just mindreading and I will stop that NOW. I control my thoughts, not the other way around right??!! Right.
It is hard to shut that little mean person down in my head. How I wish I could silence him forever and go back to being the trusting person I used to be.
Mostly those feelings have passed, but every now and then up they pop. When they do pop up, it is not as intense and they don't last long but they are still unpleasant.
I am trying to replace every negative feeling I have with a specific happy event in my life. For example, when I feel anger, I imagine when my S9 or D6 was born, one the happiest days of my life. I can also think about when I got married, another one of the happiest days of my life. I have read with practice you can replace bad thoughts with good ones but it's a discipline.
