I do not think that she is seeing anyone else she has already said to me that she will stay i the house as long as things are going ok not sure if she wants me to react but I will not
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Ok so this afternoon i try to unlock her iPad so my 2 year old can watch BBC I player like she has been doing for the past 6 months only to find she has changed the password
Now I am thinking what is she hiding
I just feel like asking her if she did it because she does not trust me I know this would not be a good idea but less t Han 1 month ago we were a couple and now she has done this
When you "know" something. LISTEN to that knowledge. The next word in your sentence was"but"...and that tends to erase what you just said before, meaning you are saying, in effect, "I know it's a bad idea" BUT..... I don't care"...(b/c my insecurities & fears are what control me)
See my point?
As for verifying and snooping, I disagree with doing that. I support the author of the DB books here, meaning NO SNOOPING - (obviously some folks post here, who do not support that tenet of DBing. But it is NOT in alignment with what is taught by the author of the DB books).
I also think she is very likely speaking to her close friends or family about the situation, things she does not want you to read. So there are a lot of things she might want to hide other than an affair.
Besides, In your case an affair would change....what, exactly?
If you know for certain that you'd file for divorce, then by all means, snoop and verify and file if you find one. Of course IF she learns of the snooping, won't that push her right out the door? If there's no affair, then that would be a costly mistake to make all for nothing,
IF there is an affair, or a relationship with another man that might morph into an A,
don't you want to BECOME THE BETTER CHOICE? Becoming the man you want to become, means being the better choice. I think that it ought to be you'd your ONLY focus at the moment. One of the many negatives of snooping, and finding an affair, is that it often makes all the self improvement work and all the personal growth, come to a screeching halt, and the big blame game about the 'Cheater and OM" becomes the focus, instead of continuing their important work.
Sadly, that means the LBSer remains as they were, a person their spouse was leaving, and it makes the OM/OW look better & better, so yeah, I think it's a really bad idea to snoop.
Read what MWD writes about this^^ if you are interested in following her advice as this is her site, after all, based on HER books, etc.
Cadet has posted some of her relevant comments on a thread.
Keep up the great work.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
