I just think she is trying to replace love with hate some how that might be easier to forget me.. not really giving it that much thought although I do feel like asking her why so much hate and anger
Anger isnt a bad thing, and wont replace love. Many people confuse anger for the opposite of love, when its indifference thats the opposite. Anger still shows a connection, it can still show love. Anger is also a secondary emotion and generally has to do with something else. Which is likely about her not you. So asking her will do nothing for you, she may not even recognize where its coming from.
Originally Posted By: desp13
yeah it must be, cuz now she just asks a questions about the baby or money, I respond then thats it no answer back before I use to get an "ok" at least, now there is no followup to my response. I guess she must not be happy still, cuz if she was she wouldn't had the need to see me as the enemy.'
Still about her, not you. Mindreading will get you all kinds of places, many of which will cause you issues. I've done/still doing enough of it to know.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Thank you fogg. thats true I have to keep working on the mind reading, but its hard cuz I feel like Im in limbo, trying to make sense of everything she is doing and everything she has done.!! its just crazy.
Thank you fogg. thats true I have to keep working on the mind reading, but its hard cuz I feel like Im in limbo, trying to make sense of everything she is doing and everything she has done.!! its just crazy.
Your wife fired you as her husband. You are not to sit around waiting for her. You are to move forward with your life.
That I keep trying to understand all of her intentions and reasons for every text, every emotion and all the invitations, her coldness and her anger like Im in a place that I know I shouldn't be, like fogg said, but its just hard to stop. I want to find sense in all of this. today she texted me to see if was picking the baby up so she could sleep over at my place but she knows that I'm work.. like what was the point, I know its not for me to figure it out but it drives me crazy. like with her its up and downs of emotions that I will never understand, she invites me to places and treats me nice I leave and texts are cold and then since she is always inviting me to do things idk if I should reciprocate but then I don't want her to think that I'm still pursuing her and also I don't want to get rejected. so thats where Im at. But I wont invite her any where, or text her or nothing, Ill just let her keep texting me with nonsense stuff.
Not every interaction will have a meaning. Shes in a chaotic place and may not understand what shes doing all the time. I spent months trying to understand W's thinking and got a good idea of what was happening, but it doesn't help me much now.
It causes you more pain and makes detachment so much harder. In the end whatever happens will happen and you're mostly out of control, its better you get to that detached state sooner and not understand ALL of her thinking.
Its better to look at the bigger picture and not every single interaction anyway. If you try to analyze every single up and down she has on that rollercoaster its going to drag you along for the ride. Shes inviting you places, accept some and show her the best version of you that you can. She may be conflicted on whats happening and that's the reason for the cold texts, or it could be a completely unrelated reason. Just because shes inviting you places doesn't mean you need to pursue her right now. Read up on the pursuit/distancing dynamics.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Thank you Fogg yeah Im going to focus on this, I think If I work on one thing at a time Ill have better control of my emotions, I think so far Ive gotten more control over the urge of texting her, I still get that urge but I don't act on it. next thing its mind reading, Im going to focus on that cuz I know that it wont help at all like u said and in reality it will be impossible to ever know what's going on in her mind. I just wish that shell break one day and tell me she misses me. but I know its not going to happen, IT would be nice, but thats not going to come out of her mouth.!
That I keep trying to understand all of her intentions and reasons for every text, every emotion and all the invitations, her coldness and her anger like Im in a place that I know I shouldn't be, like fogg said, but its just hard to stop. I want to find sense in all of this.
Have you read the thread about wayward wives?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Today I told her that I was going to take my D2 to the zoo on sunday. I felt bad not telling her to come with us but, I stayed strong, also this week Im supposed to start packing and I was going to do it by myself, but its also her responsibility so I told her that she needed to come and help me pack.!
