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ralphy ... cut yourself some slack here ... you are pretty fresh into this and the DB callouses take time to form up

I will 2x4 you about Taco Bell though .. bleh..lol

CoDepenency is a tough one, I never thought I was co-dependant till I have the world cave in on me. At first there was denial .. a sense of .. wooohoo I can do what I want, then ... yeah I noticed when she seemed happy I was miserable, but when she was miserable I felt happy, all for all the wrong reasons.

This is where the detach and GAL go hand in hand and over time you get your swag back. If you need to sit in your car and ball your eyes out .. go do it .. it helps, especially in a safe spot where you do not have to worry about people wondering WTF is it about that Dorito Crunch Wrap that has you a mess.

It does get better.

Ralphy.

Goal for today:
Name five things in your life that make you happy.

Make that 5 - we are with you. I think everyone on this board can agree to is how bad this blows. It is devastating but hey, it didn't kill us right? We are still breathing right?

I LOVE your mantra and I want to borrow it -

I Love you, I'm sorry, I forgive you, and Thank you

That just sums it all up in my book.

Thanks Matt and Cali-

5 things...

D2
My parents
Sleep (lame one I know)
Closing a sale
a good book

Those were quick as I'm running into rehearsal. Could probably think of better ones, but that's where I am right now anyway.

Thanks Heavy!

Good stuff Ralphy, focus like crazy on those 5.

I'm going to second Cali's 2x4 about Taco Bell. You're better off eating the wrapper the food-like-product comes in than eating the garbage itself!

Eat well, live well. And yea, I think most of us would kill for sleep, so it's not lame at all.

Heavy - it's not mine. Someone passed it on to me at a workshop and I stole it. It works well. Repeat each one 4 times and then go on to the next. Great for insomnia.

Your exactly right Ralphy,

Write that down and look at it 50 times a day. I am going to do the same. Hope u dont mind me stealing your words.

Those are Heavy ' s words. Can't take credit there...but I can use them.

Had a good rehearsal. I think I've been so drained from working all day and then 3 hours of singing musical theater after that 4 days a week for the last 6 weeks. It's certainly been GAL full throttle. Just wish I was enjoying it more. My energy level is so drained that the whole show has been a constant struggle.

After the show closes in two weeks, it'll be interesting how my mind responds, and how well I can find some new things to do. I want to avoid going to the bar and drinking.I need to be careful there. I need to find something else to do.

Thank you ALL for your support today. I appreciate the help during my meltdown. Each of you should know that your words helped me through. Go to bed tonight with a good feeling that you really did help someone in need today, despite your own issues right now. I think I tend to lose sight of the fact that you're all going through this too...

You are good people.

Ralphy,

Hang in there. I remember on a day when I felt so down and depressed, a friend once told me that there is one thing we can be certain of and that is nothing ever stays the same. There will always be change. You will not always feel this way.

We are all here for you.

Gr8ful3

Thanks all. I woke up today and started feeling crappy...suddenly this inner voice chimed in and screamed "NOT TODAY!" It was weird. I've been up and down all day so far...not nearly what I was feeling yesterday.