Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers New marriage over pt3--filed for divorce

I'm with Matt on this one AJ. Especially in the beginning it's good to have a bit of hope. It drives you. It's the difference between people on this board who are working their tales off to be better spouses given the tinniest bit of chance of reconciliation, and just about everyone else you meet who is getting divorced and is drunk, screwing everything in site, and completely destroying themselves as a coping mechanism.

Hope is good. Hope makes you want to strive to better yourself. Even if it's just a little bit. Hope is also free, so why the heck not.

Any cases where the wife leaves and won't even communicate with the H ffor almost three months now . I've gone dark on her but seems she has too , 7 years and she doesn't care ?

I've had great days but today sadness hit me and I cried --haven't felt this low for 2 weeks

Read the success stories Aj, they're in the main forum. You'll hear about people that don't have contact for over a year! And then they manage to reconcile.

Cry my friend, I actually tried to make myself cry this morning just to get some feelings moving. It's the healthiest thing you can do.

You don't know that she doesn't care. She's just not showing you that she cares. There's a big difference.

I know it's hell Aj, it is for all of us. Be strong.

Hang in there AJ.

We are all going through alot of the same emotions. I cried so hard on Friday night. It was the first good cry I had in weeks. I cried for my lord to help me, and believe it or not, moments later, I felt better.

My therapist tells me that crying is one of the healthiest things you can do. Its letting out some of the pain. My mom always says: " Tears are just words that the heartbroken are too hurt to say."

Anyways. Don't give up. Nobody is able to not be affected by a love that is strained. She is hurting too. I guarantee it. She just is in a different place right now and you have to let her be there on her own.

Chin up. You are doing great

Hi all, I still look at the boards but don't post as much anymore , so last weekend was my wife's birthday , i didn't call or text and it has been since early July since she texted me anything(text was about divorce papers).

I've been detaching , GAL, counseling , excercising , hanging out with friends but feel so empty and alone still , more good days than bad but can't believe she's moved on so quick to not even talk to me or want to know how I'm doing , 7 years and she's leaving me for regular marriage ups and downs

Just because YOU think they are regular ups and downs doesn't mean she does. Her perception of your relationship is her REALITY of your relationship. Just because you think its "normal" or "average" doesn't make it so.

Also, don't assume that just because she isn't contacting you that she has moved on. Patience is critical. But at the same time, you don't want to sit around waiting and hoping for her to change her mind.

Hang in there AJ.

Sooner or later curiosity will get the better of her. Dont give up or in. Does she have someone keeping tabs on you?

Nevertheless, it hasn't been a mont even. You are doing a great job of giving her space. You need it too. But you gotta make the best of it. Keep it up

Thanks guys, Hurtjef it's been 2+ months now where no contact but short texts from her about divorce procedure. No one from her side keeps tabs on me, they all cut off contact , she has no way of knowing if I'm even well, and frankly I doubt she'd care. It hurts soo much knowing she's cutt me off and detached like 7 years was nothing.

I didn't even send her a b-day card but maybe I should have so she would've known I haven't given up and still care and want to fight for our marriage????

Our marriage anniversary is coming up at the end of August . I keep thinking I'm getting better but she's always on my mind

Should I write her a goodbye letter expressing my thoughts when she does her final move out of the apartment ? I ask bc I've detached and gone dark and I fear if she ever snaps out of it and wants to reconcile she'll know where I stand and want to make it work . Right now she's gone dark on me and so have I and I bet it validates to her that's it's done ??

Anyone get a huge setback when they think they're moving forward !? Last two weeks I was doing much better, but the last few days I'm a mess again and can't get her out of my mind no matter what I do . I'm on a work trip and it's worse than being at home Lord help me heal. I think her 100% detachment from me is making me feel fully abandoned and just thrown away like a piece of trash