Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
I think there are several threads in the link above of success stories. But, by following the advice here, I've recovered to a much better place whether or not my current marriage is saved. And i believe that's more important anyway.
So.... It's slow. And it hurts. But you'll come out the other side in a much better place.
I don't want H to live in our house while actively with OW. He said he would go. I'm working on a legal separation document. He really wants a divorce but he won't say it out loud and so far hasn't filed. OW lives 1000 miles away but is from a town near us. Still has family there. H is isolating himself from friends and family and constantly texting/talking to OW.
What if he won't move?
Me:53 H: 48 Affair confirmed.: 6/25/14
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
The best bet is to talk to your L about your state's laws regarding marital property and the marital home. Without small kids involved, it's more cut and dry, but your options concerning him refusing to move will depend on your state. If you're both on the title, and your state is a "no fault" state like mine, you may not be able to force him to do so even if he's having and admits to an active A.
This forum is focused primarily on emotional recovery and hopefully prevention of divorce. It's tough with all the different state laws to talk about legal specifics.
we are all here to support you though. It really [censored] being in our situations.
well I saw an attorney and decided to file for legal separation, with me living in the house. He has not ask me about the appointment even though I told him on Monday he needed to move. I don't think he is even looking for a place to live. Ugh. Since the paperwork is going to take 3-4 weeks I'm stuck in the house with an active adulterer.
Today I told him I missed sharing my gardening success with him. Big mistake. He said, "I know".
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
I don't want H to live in our house while actively with OW. He said he would go. I'm working on a legal separation document. He really wants a divorce but he won't say it out loud and so far hasn't filed.
What if he won't move?
How do you know he wants to D if he has not said it? Mine is MLC limbo too. I personally do not think mine wants D otherwise he would be gone by now. Could be wrong, but worth fighting for by working on me. Mine can't say the word either. He only said it once and it was in relation to others.
Sounds like your H might have MLC. I have been living with actice A since Mid-April. It is definitely hard.
Last edited by Cadet; 07/18/1501:06 AM. Reason: fix quote bracket
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
He has research divorce proceedings and commented that we don't have to have a lawyer. We can divide things up on our own. Also found detailed list for OW about how to leave her husband. In his mind he is through with me. One day he will probably wake up and realize it's a mistake. Not sure I'm willing to wait around for that.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
My husband is in an affair with someone 1000 miles away, but who is from around here. Still has family here. Her husband knows. He wouldn't take the initiative to file for divorce. I filed for legal separation, he is looking for a place to live and we are talking about division of assets. I am sick to my stomach all the time.
I have been working on GAL and detaching. It's really hard because up until 2 months ago I thought my life was with him. I want him out of the house but also don't want to lose that final connection.
Today I ran across wedding and honeymoon photos and completely lost it.
My husband has been through a lot of loss and physical pain in the last few years. Has turned his back on God. He is very depressed. He stopped seeing his counselor. It's very hard not to watch him suffer and not help. Me: 53 H: 48 H has grown kids BD 6/25/15
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
