Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers My exhausting life part 3

Just sent it, I shortened it up and made it more vague. She gave the response I was expecting:

"If you'll be gone on Sunday I would like her to be at the house until I leave on Saturday"

She is a freaking teacher so she is with her all day every day. She is so irrational right now it's like having a conversation with an animal.

Do you have plans with D on Saturday? If not and it doesn't interfere with your plans, concede. Be the bigger man.

That sounds fair.

No I do have plans, I wouldn't just use our daughter as a negotiating tool. We agreed to have a conversation about it, I told her she could do something with our D2 tomorrow if she thinks that would make it more fair.

I'm sure most of you can relate but she is just so irrational it's hard for me to feel like it's a compromise and not just me giving her what she wants.

Ok, which plan is the most important to D2? I get the irrational part but remember you guys aren't a team any more. In the past this would be easy to figure out. Now? not so much. Still, take the high road when you can. There needs to be compromise on both sides.

She opted to let me have her this weekend, she was kind of condescending during the conversation so I politely asked for a timeout so I wouldn't say something I regret. She gets so ticked when I do this, but it's hard for me to STFU if I don't. Anyways, she "agreed" to let me have D2 this weekend if she could have her over July 4th. It wasn't worth the fight so I politely agreed to that. And NDY, it is most important for my D2 to be with me this weekend, my W just wanted her to be at home until she left to go hang out with friends. I try to constantly ask myself if I am being irrational. I honestly try to compromise as much as possible. My W? It's almost like if she isn't getting what she wants then it's out of the question.

My W is a teacher and she has the mindset that she gets D2 all day everyday during the summer months when I am at work. But when I am available outside of my 8-5 job that is when we will split her 50/50.

I constantly have to remind myself to not believe a thing she says. a week ago she was crying saying she hoped we could talk through the divorce process so we didn't spend all our hard earned money on lawyers, but last night it's almost like she is trying to make me feel guilty about that. "Well we can try and work it out or we can leave it up to the judge" It's amazing how she talks to me, like she has the upper hand and I am the one who has done all of these terrible things to her. I get angry and upset, but I almost feel sorry for her. She is never happy and she thinks when I leave that will bring her happiness. I think I am going to need another workout at the boxing gym this weekend....

She opted to let me have her this weekend, she was kind of condescending during the conversation so I politely asked for a timeout so I wouldn't say something I regret. She gets so ticked when I do this, but it's hard for me to STFU if I don't. Anyways, she "agreed" to let me have D2 this weekend if she could have her over July 4th. It wasn't worth the fight so I politely agreed to that. And NDY, it is most important for my D2 to be with me this weekend, my W just wanted her to be at home until she left to go hang out with friends. I try to constantly ask myself if I am being irrational. I honestly try to compromise as much as possible. My W? It's almost like if she isn't getting what she wants then it's out of the question.

My W is a teacher and she has the mindset that she gets D2 all day everyday during the summer months when I am at work. But when I am available outside of my 8-5 job that is when we will split her 50/50.

I constantly have to remind myself to not believe a thing she says. a week ago she was crying saying she hoped we could talk through the divorce process so we didn't spend all our hard earned money on lawyers, but last night it's almost like she is trying to make me feel guilty about that. "Well we can try and work it out or we can leave it up to the judge" It's amazing how she talks to me, like she has the upper hand and I am the one who has done all of these terrible things to her. I get angry and upset, but I almost feel sorry for her. She is never happy and she thinks when I leave that will bring her happiness. I think I am going to need another workout at the boxing gym this weekend....

Hi Kem

Tell me about it. My WW is exactly the same. She was all for mediators to manage the separation but when it wasn't going her way it's all down to the L's now.

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Yea, I get this as well. She hates it when I stand up to her. Before this mess it would take quite a bit before I stood up to her. These days, not so much. Strange how they think this.

At least you managed to negotiate a compromise that suits you both. Good on you.

Thanks NDY, it is definitely tough. At the beginning I definitely enabled this behavior from her and I'm ashamed I almost acted as if she was the victim. I don't do that anymore, I am polite and cordial, but I definitely voice what I think is right. I think we will be in the same boat, she wants us to talk it out but she hasn't shown any signs of compromising. Her temporary order request for custody has me seeing D2 every other weekend and on Wednesday evenings. That shows me she isn't willing to compromise right now.

Funny how she said she wants to do everything that is best interest of our D2. I politely mentioned yesterday that she gets all day every day with her during the summer months, yes that is a luxury of her job, but what is best for our D2 is to spend some time with her father this weekend. She didn't have anything to say but I could see the fire in her eyes from that TRUTHFUL statement.

Kem, there is a script for the WAS but there is also a script for us LBS's. I like you treated her like the victim and blamed myself for everything. Now? Not so much. I'm not innocent by any manner of means but this? Nahh.

As for custody were lucky in this country. The law is 50/50. Don't even bother going to court unless there is abuse to be cited.

And the best for D2? Ha, the best thing for D2 is to NOT have her family split up and to NOT live in 2 separate addresses. Funny how that little chestnut always gets missed.