Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers My exhausting life part 3

D2 had her dance lessons yesterday. Parents can watch on a TV at the dance studio so I told my W I was going to be there. I show up and I just stand in the back because I really don't want to sit with my W (she is divorcing me!!) she gets my attention and asks if I am going to sit down. It amazes me in situations like that she just acts like nothing is going on "hey let's get a divorce but let's just act like it's no big deal"

I finally said a prayer, read a quick scripture, swallowed my pride, put on my happy face and went and sat 1 seat away from my wife. Maybe this is petty, but I'm just at the point where I am angry with my W for just throwing me to the trash.

If you really did not want to sit by her, then learn these two words......"No thanks". You obviously felt manipulated by her. You are a grown man who is free to do whatever you decide. You don't have to act like a hen pecked H...........and more especially, a hen pecked divorced H.

When our teenager doesn't want to do something, she'll smile and say, "I'm good". It's funny how that throws some people when she says it. It's her way of saying, "no thanks".

Good point, I'm still learning to not get manipulated. Obviously she is WW right now and before this all happened she was far from being manipulative, so I'm just learning as I go.

Funny how her IC has convinced her anytime I say something different than her, or if I have a different opinion, or if I try to explain things different than how she sees them that is me being manipulative; I have definitely embraced the "believe nothing she says" AND it't not work arguing because it's like talking with a 3 year old or an addict.

Quick recap and then I need opinions/thoughts:

W filed for D, our temporary order hearing is July 15 so we are still living in same house now and just kind of communicating stuff about D2. Well I'm tired of having conversations and making assumptions about what is going on with D2 so I thought about sending this text to my W. Let me know what you all think

"Hey, we can talk about it later but I have some friends that invited us to this festival Saturday morning, and my sister invited us over for church Saturday evening and they asked us to stay the night because they have a Father's day breakfast planned for me and my brother in law. I'd like to have D2 this weekend for that. We can have a conversation about it. I'd also like to create some kind of schedule moving forward with D2 so we have a general idea of what to expect."

Thoughts?

Hey mate. I'm getting a lot of help on my thread about this kind of stuff. You should drop by and have a read when you have time. If it were me I'd probably send this


Better yet, just say it to her. You don't need to explain yourself.

I'm not the text expert - but a couple thoughts:

1) why are you being SO specific about your whereabouts ALL weekend?

2) don't say you're "going to talk about it" later twice.

Keep it simple!

haha, I like your idea. I just know she will bait me and think im being spiteful and trying to "punish" her by being vague. Plus MIL is coming up this weekend so she assumes there will be time for her Mom to see our D2

I will definitely come check out your thread. I need a distraction from my situation anyways

Just saw your post Matt. She is going to ask for details because it is about our D2. Any thoughts on how to respond to that? she is just looking for an excuse to get mad at me at this point.

I think you can say something like

"I've made plans for me and D2 for Father's Day weekend. We should be back around xxx time on Sunday."

I don't know...?

Answer: you have plans. Unless they clash with her plans then tough. Has she communicated her plans with D2 to you? No so get on with the planning. If there is a clash then negotiate. If you get in there first then you made your point.