Hey Betsey! Saw your post on Meredth's thread. Thanks for thinking about me. I'll give you the quick run down: Things are going smoothly for me and H. It is comfortable, if nothing else. I don't feel as panicked to hurry and make this all work. As a matter of fact, last night I slipped a card to him while he was in his office working. It was your basic "If I could go back in time, would I do it all over again?" card. The answer is a resounding YES! No matter what happens.
I felt he needed to know this. And, I got up the courage to sign it, "I love you." Well, getting up the courage isn't really an accurate portrayal. I really didn't look at it as: What if I say this and he doesn't say it back? I just wanted to say it, and my fear of his reply (or lack of) wasn't going to scare me off. What a good place to be! Anyway, he didn't say anything about it. BUT, he was very sweet and loving last night, and this morning. SO, it didn't scare him away either.
I took a lot out of your "to hug or not to hug" posts! Seize the moment, eh, friend?
Anyway, I miss you terribly! I really wish you'd come back out here!!!
Congrats on the weightloss! Though, I don't recall you needing it! I asked Mer about it at lunch last week. I said, "did I miss something, because Betsey did not strike me as needing to lose weight..." She said the same. Though, I know that I dropped 10 pounds, and people swore I didn't need to. (But, they sure liked it when I did.)
Dazed--You are too much today! If anyone never tells you this, I appreciate the quick wit you possess and your ability to turn a frown into a smile.
Rottzilla--Today's word of the day (this week's subject is HOW TO GET FIRED) is flippant. I'm assigning this new vocabulary word to you to use in a sentence to replace the word patient. I believe the bloody fingers you now have are proof positive that you understand this concept!
Pam--I really miss you too! You never know when I'm going to need another trip, and the Motor City is as good a place to go as any.
I'm SO proud of you for taking this first step to say the words that you want to say and eventually hear. Putting aside pride for the sake of love is a wonderful gift, and nobody does it better than you. I'm blessed to have you as an example of how to heal through all the hurts.
Thank you for your encouraging words. Post D7 weight was getting me down. Because of my height, a few extra pounds isn't as noticeable. However, I'm on a mission to get healthy, happy and slim!
A couple years ago, a lady in a dressing room told me to embrace my matronly and curvaceous figure. I was depressed for days! Because I still saw myself as tall and thin, not otherwise!
I read somewhere that for every 5 lbs of fat we carry, the body has to generate 1 mile of blood vessels to support it. A mile! Holy cow! That's awful. I didn't notice it because I work out. But I'm going to feel much better when I'm not lugging around the interstate system anymore. And it sure will be nice to fit back into some old favorite clothes again.
I have a message into our MC about heading back into C by myself--with the hopes of my dearest Mr. Wonderful joining me soon. I'm ready to love him again, and I'm anxious to see what sort of flavor that takes on when he actually commits to this process.
Hugs to you, your H and 3 boys. Any more booby sightings?
Come squat here until your landlord returns....
Hugs and squeezes,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Good for you on the counseling! I wish our C had been a good one. I miss having that outlet.
I couldn't help but laugh at your dressing room story! Yeah, ain't it true how one person can change our whole reality?
No booby sightings lately! (Thank God!) S17 did tell me that his gf finds me "intimidating." Me? That's a laugh. I have never intimidated a soul. But, hey, if it will keep the boob in the bra, I'm all for her being intimidated!
Thanks for the reply to my e-mail.
How's your essay coming?
Off to make dinner! By the way, I see your weather is gorgeous. Forget coming here...I'll grab Mer and go there!!!
Oh, and thanks for your kind words. I am trying hard, and I believe it is for all the right reasons, no matter what comes of it. I feel a certain sense of peace, and I like it.
Pam--Yes, our weather has been stellar! Unfortunately, we have had little to no precipitation and we are about ready to embark on our 3rd consecutive year of severe drought. Another year of water restrictions.
Okay, so the last episode of this soap opera left off with Mr. Wonderful adamantly stating to me that he does not want a D, but it not ready to come home. I suggested we not take either extreme but work on reconciling first. He agreed that it sounded logical and reasonable.
I left it with him, saying that I wanted a commitment to working on the reconciliation before I leave for VA (a week from today). In typical Mr. Wonderful vernacular, he said he agreed that 2 1/2 weeks was a good timeframe to agree to commit. I reiterated that I didn't mean heading back to MC in that timeframe, but want to know how this story is going to end either way.
This episode was followed by an epilogue: our new pastor suggested that I start the ball rolling by going myself and letting Mr. W. know about it so the transition wasn't so awkward for him. Mr. W. seems to operate better when the transition isn't so abrupt and when he doesn't have to initiate it.
The new episode of "As The Shark Turns":
I phoned him to respond to a golf e-mail he sent me earlier. We discussed what was on his checklist. Oh, he was upbeat and happy and I reacted likewise, because he's made a whole lot of progress on the tournament.
After golf was discussed I said, "Mr. W., I just want you to know I'm going back to MC. My first appointment is on the 15th at 6:30."
MW: Very shocked! "Really? You're going to meet with MC? Wow! Oh, Bets, isn't that the day you leave for Seattle?"
Me: Holy crap... he actually listens to me and is paying attention to my schedule now! "No, the 15th is on a Thursday, and I'm heading out Friday."
MW: "Morning or afternoon?"
Me: "Afternoon, why?"
MW: "I'm going to a Dad and me breakfast with D7 at 7:00 am. I know that I don't have to make alternate arrangements to get D10 to school now. This will work out nicely."
Me: "Oh, that does work out. Anyway, if you'd like to join me in our first session, that's fine too."
MW: Still in somewhat of a shock... "Uh, no, you can have that one alone. Maybe I'll go to the 2nd appt with you, though."
Me: I realize that's more than a month away. Good thing I set that appt up too. "Okay, no worries."
MW: "Okay, that's it for now, unless you have something else?"
Me: "Nope. Talk to you later!"
So the ice has been broken and I'm heading back to MC. With a little thought, he just might be okay after all.
Just keep swimming!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Underdog, I'm sort of butting in on your thread, but I think it was you who posted on someone else's thread (rotzilla's maybe?) about letting your dh have more control. Can you give any specific examples of that?
I'm very controlling in our relationship and would like to be less so, but don't know how. I handle all of the money and bills (dh says he wants it that way & doesn't even have or want an ATM card), I take care of buying all of the gifts & kids' clothing & household stuff (and even his clothing, to be honest), I make about 95% of our social plans...I don't like it but don't know how to change it! He claims that it doesn't bother him (he hates shopping, for example).
Quote: Rottzilla--Today's word of the day (this week's subject is HOW TO GET FIRED) is flippant. I'm assigning this new vocabulary word to you to use in a sentence to replace the word patient. I believe the bloody fingers you now have are proof positive that you understand this concept! Betsey
Come on, that's too easy. You will have to be more difficult with me.
My boss comes into my office and tells me that I need to actually DO something today, to which I *flippantly* reply "get lost."
