Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers My story pt 2

Strange, mornings is when I feel the most anxious/weak also. Maybe its just realizing how much energy another day of DB'ing is going to take out of you. Another full day of working to a goal that you really don't understand or see, even if you believe you will be OK when you get to it.

Well put Fogg. Mornings are the hardest for me as well. Sometimes, just getting out of bed is hard, slogging though everything feels like such a chore.

No, I don't pretend to understand all of this, but then what a perfect metaphore for life. Who really understands any of it or why we are here.

We just are and we do what we do.

We will be OK at the end, I am confident.

Just venting on here so I don't slip up with W. My W and D2 are about to leave the house for the afternoon. and I just want to say how dare my W say she's trying to do what's best for our D2. She's said this whole time she wants to be an example for our D2. Great example: a quitter and an adulterer.

Vent session over.

W said the same to me around BD. Like it's POSSIBLY BETTER for our girls to have this example set before them. Let alone all of the extra income set aside to find separate households.

But there's nothing I can do about that for now...so there's no point in dwelling on it.

I agree Matt. I think it shows how thick the fog can be for them. My W was saying all this in the middle of her affair. It baffles me; but I know I will never understand it. I just have to try and be the lighthouse. My W doesn't dictate my happiness, I do, and my D2 does

Heard the same myself around BD. "It wouldn't be fair/set a bad example for D4 to see us in a loveless M", but being the side chick for some younger guy and running away/giving up on M commitment is?

People naturally see the side of things they want to see and rationalize their perspective. Even the LBS does, it's human nature and the fog ups those thoughts.

So she sent me 2 texts yesterday about what her and my D2 were doing. I don't understand this. I waited about 45 minutes and just said "sounds good" then she told me when they'd be home and I didn't respond. Kind of odd she wants a D but she wants me to know what she's doing. She got home at 930 and our D2 never goes to bed past 830....ever. If I came home at 930 with D2 my W would trip out. I didn't take the bait though. Happy and upbeat for me

Just roll with it. The ways of the WW can't be rationalized. She wants you as her friend, so she may send these kinds of messages.

As for coming in late, as long as you aren't concerned for her safety, I wouldn't question about it unless it starts becoming really regular and starts affecting D2's behavior.

The WW operates out of her emotions, which change from minute to minute. There are hundreds of posts the WW sending needless text, photos, etc., to the H. She basically wants to keep you connected emotionally. She wants no more than to be good friends, while she is free to do her thing, but she wants you to stay on her hook.

She KNOWS what you want. So, she is going to throw a few bread crumbs around from time to time. Don't misread it to be anything more.

Had a great day with D2 yesterday. We were very busy all day and she had a great time with everything we were doing. My W stuck around until I put D2 to bed and then she left the house.

I can always tell how torn up my W is when I am gone with our D2. She stayed away from the house while we were gone because I know she can't stand being in the house by herself (hello! that is your soon to be reality!) Ironically, she asked our counseling session again. That is the 3rd time she has asked about it in past couple days

This morning has been tough for me. I always wake up hoping this is a nightmare and it's like the weight of the world hits me when I realize this is my reality.