Just knowing there is a problem and starting to work on it is a MAJOR breakthrough for you. There are plenty of guys on here that can not convince their wives just how important it really is. We all get the "It's just sex" crap from our wives. So pat yourself on the back, you have overcome the biggest hurdle, to be willing to work on a solution. Just remember to TEAM with your husband to find solutions.
I would also like to say that your husband probably also feels like he has failed. From the view of another HD guy, when our wives no longer desire us, we feel like failures. We wonder, "What did I do wrong?". Am I unattractive? Am I fat? Does she have someone else? Am I a lousy husband and father? Am I boring to her. Unromantic? We kick around about a million thoughts in our heads as to why we are failing our wives. It literally destroys our self esteem.
But your husband is a lucky man to have a wife that WANTS to work with him to solve this issue. With positive results, the two of you can have an incredible marriage!
CeMar: One time, I printed out the Emotional Needs questionnaire out and my H and I took it together. First, I was surprised that he agreed to take a relationship test with me but that was not the biggest surprise, oh noooooooo.
His #1 need? Physical touch! I never would have guessed that. Of course, his physical touch is non-sexual and mine is definitely sexual but I felt that we had gotten away from touching each other at all because he interpreted my touches wrong and I didn't want to touch him knowing it wouldn't go anywhere. So we were both depriving the other of our greatest need. Ironic huh!
I'm not suggesting that this will be the case with you and your wife; I'm merely saying that for you to "guess" what her needs are in your marriage is downright disrespectful. You might be right and you might be wrong.
So why not find out? I presented it to my husband by saying that I needed to know his needs so that I could be a better wife. Even though I could have predicted most of what they would be anyway. I needed the reminder of what is important to him, just as much as he needed it.
