Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Trying to Follow DB & DR (3)

Miman,

I can relate. My mom is good for a snap out of dose of tough love. I had to talk to her through this process about how sometimes, I don't want positivity, the right ways of thinking about things, and instructions as to how I should be feeling. Sometimes I just want to be listened to and told it's ok to feel the feels and to be understood.

I realized I picked up these rather annoying habits of 'comforting' someone from my mom and I was calling as a kettle to the pot.

You're trying to digest a lot, but see if you can take yourself back to how you grew up. I'm not one for blaming parents for snything, but sometimes it is helpful to understand where and how we were shaped?

Good luck with all your endeavors, Miman. Become the man a fool would have to leave

Did you start taking the meds after your W left?

Thanks again Zelda.

I had to ask my mom to not judge me on how I was feeling and to please not yell at me. That it didn't help and it made me feel guilty for what I was feeling. She seemed to get upset asking what she should do then, I asked her to just validate me and my feelings while trying to give her an example.

She is taking the whole sitch pretty hard. She started crying saying that all these feelings I have are hard on her because "I am her" by extension and since I'm feeling bad she's feeling bad/worse.

I suppose most of my depressed feelings yesterday were brought on primarily by not taking the antidepressants I got after the W left. It's only the second time I've missed a dosage since getting them but I can definitely feel the difference when I don't take them.

I had weird dreams last night involving the W the OC and I. All of us together. The OW and I were "reconnecting" during the dream when the W and OM came in and interrupted.

How long is it until I can sleep through the entire night?? I seem to wake up every 1-2 hours every night. I thought it was just because the cats would wake me up, but it still happened last night. :-/

And what type of melds were they? That could explain a few things

The standard post-BD mix of antidepressants and anti-anxiety for sleeping.

Have you tried meditating or exercising to stimulate sleep rather than relying on drugs?

I prefer to exercise in the mornings, I find it helps wake me up, whereas in the evenings I'm usually just in a "try to relax" mood after work. I've been praying in the evenings before bed but that's the closest I've gotten to meditation.

The drugs definitely help make me get to the point where I'm sleepy enough to go to bed.

But yeah I'll give mediation a try to see if it'll help me sleep through the entire night.

I don't remember who suggested it, but there's an app called Headspace for meditation. I did the first activity today and its interesting.

Thanks Fogg, I'll give it a try. It'll hurt a bit since the W and I shared her iTunes login for apps so we never had to pay for 2 copies of the same app. So she'll get an email that says it was downloaded but I figure I don't care/mind all that much I guess.

I was thinking of looking for something on youtube, but this gives me something to start with.

I believe you can get this app over the computer directly from its website, instead of using your phone.