We are in a very similar sitch. However, while my W is just completely non-confrontational about things, I think your W is a bit meaner, if you'll pardon me saying so. Did she really say: "I want you to get the f out of the house as soon as possible"? Did she really drop the F-bomb? That is not very classy. And she has no right to demand it of you.
I though of some practical advice that may help you detach while you are under the same roof: It seems like your W is tormenting you with her 'subject-less' emails. I agree with Mr. Bond (would have to be crazy not to) that it is NOT about you. Nevertheless you are experiencing a LOT of spew from her. My thought was: perhaps you can configure your email software to receive her emails directly into a separate folder. The Trash folder would be ideal, but that is probably not practical at this point . Perhaps you can have a folder called "spew", and rather than seeing an endless flow or trickle of tormenting spews all day, you could check the folder once a day, when you are mentally and emotionally prepared for it. Just a thought.
Hang in there. We share your pain, so you don't have to shoulder it all yourself.
Yes, she used the f bomb a lot, and has been asking me to get out of the house as soon as possible for a little while now.
It's one of those things were this isn't the person I married. I've never seen her act this way, or anywhere close to it at all, in any context, since the day I met her.
Like on the acting this way scale of 1 to 100, I've seen her maybe at 20 before, and there are moments of time where she's acting at 80 now.
It feels so strange and foreign and is hard to believe. Again, the thing that makes me crazy, is there are moments where she acts like the person I married.
Probably not a bad idea on the email thing. You kinda hit the nail on the head, in so much as I don't mind the emails when I'm prepared for them. She likes to throw in necessary logistical stuff with a little spew here and there.
Me: 35 Her (WAW): 34 D8, S5, D2 T:16, M:9 BD + D: 4/3/2015 EA Confirmed 5/6/2015 Separation under the same roof
I'm going to an IC session in a few minutes. I have (2) ICs, one is focusing on my sexual abuse recovery, the other is like "general". I'm going to the "general". She's been my IC since my wife's EA 4 years ago and she knows our whole story.
I stopped going for a year and a half until the divorce hit. I backslid a lot during that time. And the marriage went boom.
But I feel good today. Confident.
And it sort of [censored], because there have been days recently when I felt so terrible and I wanted nothing more then to be able to go to my IC and cry and whine and let it out.
Me: 35 Her (WAW): 34 D8, S5, D2 T:16, M:9 BD + D: 4/3/2015 EA Confirmed 5/6/2015 Separation under the same roof
Talked about many different things, but what is sticking with me is how our marriage had a really dysfunctional dynamic, that was a result of my insecurities and emotional problems but also a result of hers.
I'm really feeling for the first time since D was filed that the collapse of this marriage was a shared responsibility. I'm also re-engaging with the fact that I was completely unhappy in this marriage as well, and have no desire to go back to that marriage.
Having said that, I do believe in my heart that a union between my "old" wife and I has POTENTIALLY to be a happy marriage.
I'm finding it easier to disengage and look forward at this exact moment in time (I'm sure I'll backslide a bunch any second now)
Me: 35 Her (WAW): 34 D8, S5, D2 T:16, M:9 BD + D: 4/3/2015 EA Confirmed 5/6/2015 Separation under the same roof
Welcome to the roller coaster, my friend. Accept that there will be good days and bad days. Days when you will feel detached and days when you will feel needy. Bring it all to your IC or hear. There is always someone to talk to who will listen.
Sat down at our laptop tonight to print some pictures for the kids to give her for mothers day.
Couldn't resist the temptation to look at the history. It was the first time I had used the laptop since D was filed.
Pretty clean, except for some odd entries for expedia and delta.
The expedia link showed she was looking at flights to Charlotte NC. Leaving this Friday the 8th and returning Monday the 11th.
We don't know anyone in Charlotte I said to myself. Bugged the crap out of me.
Then I hopped on facebook real quick, cause I said I wonder if that old EA affair partner didn't move to Charlotte.
Sure enough, his facebook profile showed real clear, he's located in Charlotte.
She isn't going there. But she's made a big deal out of being gone this weekend, and even for mother's day, she's not spending the night here. Now I'm thinking he's probably coming here.
I just hate this. My head is messed up enough.
I really want to confront her, hoping to keep any meet-up from happening.
Me: 35 Her (WAW): 34 D8, S5, D2 T:16, M:9 BD + D: 4/3/2015 EA Confirmed 5/6/2015 Separation under the same roof
She's leaving the house this weeknd, from Friday to Monday. However she is coming to a family event Saturday, and then she's having the kids mothers day.
I can't imagine how I'm going to coexist with her either day, knowing full well where she just left from.
Me: 35 Her (WAW): 34 D8, S5, D2 T:16, M:9 BD + D: 4/3/2015 EA Confirmed 5/6/2015 Separation under the same roof
. Perhaps you can have a folder called "spew", and rather than seeing an endless flow or trickle of tormenting spews all day, you could check the folder once a day, when you are mentally and emotionally prepared for it. Just a thought.