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My Man... It must be the week! I hit a funk earlier in the week too. Take solace and serenity in the fact that you will be good, and probably be better in the end (I would even venture to say you know this deep down inside somewhere you know that).

Keep your chin up!

Thanks Mahhhty

I think you underestimate yourself with the 'strength only on the outside' comment. I don't agree with that. I think you are like a stick of Dublin rock with Strength running all the way through.

Sorry it isn't the best week, lovely RD. Sitches have such ups and downs. Edz was in a funk a month or so ago - and look at him now!

Things will turn at some point. Either your W will start to wake up. Or you will just start to feel more happy again and will keep moving forward. We'll be here good times and bad, so just keep posting. Are you and those lovely kids up to anything tonight??

xxxx (four kisses returned. A bonus two because you are in a funk. But don't tell Pink)

Hi Lovely one,

Missing me much? I miss flirting with you. Always keep me smiling. Lately, I kept giving space for my H to be in my toughs and I get all depressed.

Time to think when I am going to visit Ireland. My kids kept me laughing yesterday. Talking of who you might be. One of those rebellion guys from the IRA. They were trying to picture you picking me up at the airport with a super gun on your hands, then going outside and have this super Hammer w/a Bazooka installed on the side of it and an automatic installed in the roof. Wow, it was something, some fun!!!

Well, seems like most of us had a bad or not so great week, today is Thursday and we must be getting ready for the great week ahead of us.

After all what we have been through I do not think it can get much worse, at least about our M. So, time to look at the positive and re evaluate where we stand now.

I think we are all in a big Limbo, sitting there like ducks or like bull frogs, but we can all get a "Limbo" T-shirt for sure. It all socks, horrible to be like this, but like you said this is life and we need to deal with it.

Time to stirred some fun around these boards...

Rd, in another note, hope you had some good news reg your business. Your W is coming around thinking a little better, eventually she will see things with more clarity. You are doing all what you can, and your are doing the right thing. So, keep doing what works. Hope is still there.

Love
Pink

Thanks Toots and thank you Pink.

Toots , I feel that I am still way to attached to W. I know she spends time with OM and it always brings me crashing down. I mind read and assume so much that I drive myself mad. Today W drove into our gates and damaged her car. She called me and I told her that these things happen. When I got home she was very upset and hugged me. She left about an hour later and as she drove out I told her not to worry and it was only a car. W text me 15 mins later to say thanks for the support. Here's my issue. , W lives 20 mins away so couldn't be at home and OW lives 10 mins away so I assume she was outside OMs place. This upset me for about two hours I text W back to say no prob and she just answered thanks

I know I have to detach and that's why I'm weak I was with L/C today as D10 had an appointment ( shel loved it) L/C is still adamant that OM is not romantic and I need to be there for M and by extension my family but I feel that I. can't stay in limbo forever. You have read how W has come forward the last couple of weeks but how do I balance that against her spending time with OM I don't lose sleep over OM but I do get annoyed over my perception of Ws lack of feeling when she texts me from outside OMs place. I will add that W has no idea how much I think about this or even how I feel as I would never ask her anything about her life or give her any idea of how I'm feeling I always present a happy exterior and to be honest I am happy a lot of the time. Nothing happening withS kids tonight as I have a lot of cleaning to do

Pink. I often think of you and so wish we had met years ago There are good reasons that we can't contact each other on this board but I have been thinking of secret codes to give you my email so we could elope and live on a desert island with race tracks and plenty of dancing !!!!!!! Thank you for your support but I am really struggling this week. W is in a long cheeseless tunnel and while i appreciate I have no control, it's so hard seeing someone who was such a great aw and mother change into someone who I dont even know

Sorry for the long sorry go round post

Thanks again ladies. Rd. xx

Hello RD,

I read your last post. This must be so hard on you. The sentence of yours I quoted could've been written by me, or I supppose many other LBHs. Good way to phrase it.

As far as the detaching, it is so hard. I believe someone (wonder who?) mentioned that we are human, so these things are going to happen.

Hang in there and for your own good please stop trying to mnd read. (It's one of those things easier said than done.)

BTW, thanks for your post today in my thread. I was overwhelmed by how many kind people here posted today. I tried to write a little something to each of you. In case you missed it, this is what I posted in my thread and wanted you to know:

RD, I am about as human as they come, and I did check my phone today twice, The last time is when I noticed my text finally got delivered. And you're welcome, I love trying to support everyone on this forum, and thank you for your support as well.

Regards my friend.

Bob

RD

My lovely personal IC when no IRL IC was there.

Your W has no consequences to her actions. RD is so tolerant and supportive, soft, daft and gentle with WW. I am very baffled by IC not seeing an EA by WW.

So RD its three xxx from V, splitting the difference between Pink and Toots

V

RD,

Making sure that my post contains no "X's" I don't want you to get any ideas.

I agree with Bob, that statement about seeing the changes can been written by any of us. Especially since everyone sees the destruction the WW is causing in their own lives....except themselves (oh no, an X)

As far as detachment, I never ever thought I would get there, I had a run in with WW about taxes a few weeks back in which I did EVERYTHING to try and make it easy and straightforward for her and she still chose to take a different route and change her mind from what we had originally planned. Well when her decision had negative consequences for her; she blamed me. The conversation that followed, she was yelling at me in front of D4. It was so ridiculous because she couldn't even explain how I was anyway responsible for it, when I asked her. She just kind of looked at me. At that point it all clicked in my head....there is no understanding their reason for actions; just understanding how they are reacting to life. It doesn't matter why something happened; their defense is to blame the LBH; even if they themselves can't justify it.

Well, it was the "last straw" of detachment. I would have never thought that I would get there just a few minutes prior. I went on with my evening; with little affect on my attitude. Since then, everything is clearer; the dark cloud seems to be lifted and surprisingly, my fear that I just "wouldn't care about her or our M" did not come true. It's just I finally accepted for myself I can't help her when she doesn't want help.

Hopefully your detachment happens soon, its freeing. Its the unexpected things that may make it happen, like me.

RD, honey, with all the Southern gentleness I can muster..what V said.

Lovely RD, I'm so sorry, and would echo what V and RPP say. You are remaining a supportive and constant presence for your W and it is causing you pain as you know she reaches out to you when she has just reached out or is about to reach out to OM. Whatever the status of her R with OM, it is at least an inappropriate friendship, and may well be more.

Perhaps RD should consider further moves to detach a little more. Maybe a GAL plan on W's night at the house. Becoming a little less supportive (but not unpleasant) and more 'business/practical' with W. Start to give the impression that RD has his limits too and they are being tested. I would love to see an RD (not family) GAL plan. Something just for you. Do you have any ideas RD?

Know this - whatever happens with your W - you are a great guy. That comes through in all that you write and all that you do. Nothing can take that away. Keep posting and working through this with us RD.

xxx