Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers My fail of sadness....

Cadet..... Yup, Ive been in 17 years this July.... and thank YOU for your support.

Rick..... talk about getting hit by reality.... I just got SLAMMED today. I was talking to my youngest and he was telling me about Mommy's new apartment. He then got into talking about the sleeping arrangements and he said...."I sleep in my bed.... mommy sleeps in her bed.... and _____ sleeps with mommy...."

I about fell on the floor. I couldn't believe what he said. Im still in shock and disbelief. I mean, yes.... we're separated, yes we have both filed..... but we are NOT divorced yet. But yet here is my little boy, telling me, that this other dude is in the same bed as my wife. Im devastated all over again......

Words fail me. I'm sorry BW. This isn't right. Just the way it is though.

What I was always grateful for is how poorly my STBX acted after BD. I've personally never been threatened by OM. He can sleep in the bed that used to be our marriage bed while I pay for the mortgage, they can drink and get high and talk crap about me. But that's not threatening to me. What would have been threatening is if she had started going to church, waited for the D to be final, had been reasonable and sad about it, grieved openly for our M but told me she had been hurt to bad to ever go back, then had met some widowed sunday school teacher and started a pure and healthy relationship with a good man when the time was right. That would've hurt.

This? This is just absurd. They can have each other. If the time comes she wants to be in a real committed M with a good man she can make some changes and look me up to see if I'm still around.

Of course, I have to keep from being righteous about it, because although she's across the lines these days I messed up my share, and it doesn't really matter anymore. I just need to be the best me I can so I can attract the person that will go the distance next time.

Long story longer, it stinks, but it doesn't prove anything about you.

^^^^ Yes! Yes! YES!

I was also in the Air Force, but for only 5 years. Sorry you had to hear that from your son. My D4 came up to me about a month after BD and said "mommy said she doesn't love you anymore and will never love you again", it felt like a dagger piercing my heart. D4 heard it during one of my W's dinners with a friend. I can't imagine what I would have felt if it was mentioning OM sleeping with her. Stay strong.

BW read Sandis thread about the LBS. It will open your eyes. Im so sorry to hear about this.

That is tough to hear. I agree with Rick, read sandi's post- it is an absolute eye opener and there is some really great advise there.
Keep on going on working on the best you you can be. It really gets them thinking when they see you sort of emotionless, or when the tables turn and suddenly they look needy and sad and you're oozing confidence and looking great. You can get there, it takes time and practice. Little steps are still a step forward

Zues..... yea.... it definitely just is. Im so devastated by it. She even said there wasn't anyone else.... but I know my almost 4 year old wouldn't lie about something like that. They don't know how to lie, they just call them how they see them. I can't believe just how low she is....

Fogg.... thats exactly how it felt for me. Like a knife into my heart and twisted. And he said it as him and my other son and myself were sitting around eating. I wasn't digging for info or anything, just casual conversation. I had to act like it didnt affect me and press on with the night. It was like being murdered without dying.

Rick and Cherry..... What post are you referring too? I can't seem to find it. I'll look more though. I am working on me and I'm working really hard. I just want to put her on blast and scream into the phone about how hurt I am and how betrayed.... but I stay silent and I am trying to be positive and nice. Not act like I know. Oh, and the OM just turned 21 in Feb..... she turns 30 in sep. I mean, come on....

just so defeated and devastated feeling....

BWgo to Sandis 37 rules. At the bottom u will see Sandis thread about the LBS with a WW. Read it

And she doesnt care how hurt you or the kids are right now. She only cares about her.

There is a link in the homework from my first post to you