Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Not dumb anymore (3)

Very generous! Sorry my mood, reflective of my day. A terrible decision that she has consistently made everyday for the past several months and potentially every day for the rest of her life. From her perspective the best decision she ever made?

It is very hard to accept sometimes. Her behavior hasn't changed any over the last few months. But I like to believe it all started with one bad decision. After that one decision, each decision after that got easier.

How far do I take this separation that is happening right now? Do I ask her to make her own car payments? Should I have her get her own car insurance, and drop her from mine? How far do I push? Could these actions push her further away?

That's all up to you. Only you can decide on what to do based on your specifics.

I will continue to wait and see how things go while she is on her own. She is acting like this is a permanent separation, not just taking a break like she originally stated.

There has been very little R talk out of her, and I'm certainly not starting any. She mentioned that if the future does have an us, that she doesn't realize it too late.

Sometimes you just need a good cry.

I dont understand. I think you missed some words or something?

i suppose i was super-imposing my sitch. My W became a totally different person in one day. I dont think it realistically "started" with a single decision. I think day after day she left home where she was unhappy and day after day in her office there was this young guy who just wanted to have fun, flirted with her, befriended her. Feelings developed until one day - there was a decision, but by that time turning back was not realistic. ATM she is ecstatic with this decision. No one is allowed to even question it. She has backed it up by exagerating how bad our M was. She will stick by this DECISION. MAYBE she will review things maturely IF the new R fails, but there is no real reason to expect it will. Well I can come up with plenty but thats self defeating really. Sorry - my negativity. It sounds like in your case you at least have a more receptive WAS.

Pyrite

Who know what goes on inside the ww mind. They are liberated, we are left holding the bag. Their decisisons are crazy to us but to them, make perfect sense. My WW has demonized me too, and our friends have bought it hook line and sinker. I am the devil and she is the poor angel who has escaped my clutches. Jeez.

It's all so defeating and sad. Our WW are dead, our marriages are dead so we just have to pick ourselves up and try to move forward, for us and our kids.

We can do this no matter how much it does not make any sense or how much it hurts us.

Carry on my friend.

And you HeavyD. I never imagined I could feel so much pain. Some will live their whole lives without ever knowing how much pain it is possible to feel. My W will be one of them I am sure. She will blame me again for not wanting to be friends with her in the future. But if she could feel like this for a day, she wouldn't even dare to ask.