Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers I'm new and I'd like some help

Was wanting some feedback on laying down the ww/OM boundary doesn't that fall into pleading chasing and trying to persuade a ww!

Which I've been told is useless ! I mean ishe knows I know there's the OM we just don't talk about it ! Is it not better to let go and let that burn out than trying to control or implement any ultimatum, when my Ww first bd me (prior to db had I known the what I know now this might of been handled differently) me was one night I came home from work a few days after the " I met someone /ILYBNILWY Speech " she was on the front porch talking to OM I asked her to a least have enough respect not to do that when I was home she said hold on to him I'll call u back comes in and says I think we should separate I told mom today and she said her and my father lived together for six months after they separated I don't think we can do that so let's shoot for June you should be out , we haven't talked about it much since I kind of stop talking about all real r issues since then and just tried not to pressure her , so I guess that's why I haven't attempted to lay down the OM boundary since but By doing so I left the door open for her to further develop a relationship with this other I guy but at this point isn't it going to end badly anyway what I'm I afraid of divorce ?

Seperation were already living inseperate rooms cut off physically what else can you do to me , I'm about at the end of my rope hard to be a lighthouse for a ship that's sailed even though on occasion she still feeds me breadcrumbs about the future , just to keep me hanging on I suspect until OM works out our until she gets out os school in June (she's a teacher ) so she ll have more time with the kids and it'll be easier to kiss me bye (her house ) anyway I'm growing tired of her cake eating and mind games and losing hope of any chance of reconciliation,
I want to work on he marriage but have accepted it's only to be married to the girl who I'm married not the girl she's become and I don't think is coming back , like most newbies I'm sure I'm on a emotional rollercoaster!

I feel like or marriage is just nostalgia now and I'm living in the past by wanting anything to work out and the future with her is impossible, guess I'm ranting I guess this go where I intended but it's been a crazy day, but that wouldn't be true on the other hand I hate seeing my wife unhappy and in this wayward state, I don't like what we've become and I wish there was something I could do to turn things around but I just don't know what that something is

I mean wouldn't a OM boundary speech just push her closer to him make her want to carry on the affair that much more since we've learned the WW IS IRRATIONAL and without logic or reason ? I almost set out to write her a letter but just think it'll do more harm than good, shouldn't actions speak louder than any words I could speak right now

Actions DO speak louder than Words but right now if she is irrational she wont be hearing either one.

So even if you are shouting she wont hear you.

That is why saying nothing may be a better plan of action.


P.S. - I think you are posting from your phone, try to hit carriage return every once in a while so people can read your posts a little easier.