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the ttext I got from XW when I told her

Just want you to know that I do believe in you. I'm praying tonight that you feel God's presence and sense his grace. I'm also praying for the next thing around the corner for you. May it be something wonderful.

I feel like an acquaintance from church when I read that.

bravo -- you are going to be okay. You're already doing things to be okay -- cutting back on finances, putting out job applications. I know things seem bad now, but take the long view. Yours is the only post I've responded to in a while. I can tell you're hurting, and just wanted you to hear a friendly voice. You have skills, resources, and motivation -- and two kids who are counting on you to be okay and show them how it's possible to emerge from this garbage stronger than ever. You'll get there.

Hi Bravo.

Sorry to hear about whats happening with you. Ahoy I think has a lot of it spot on.

You got the job in the first place and you'll find another one. My productivity took a real hit and it's only just coming back - but it was my situation I still have all the same capability that I had before and so do you. Youll work something out I'm sure.

Bravo I lost my job recently too. My H cheated and walked out, I've had health issues and a major surgery, and then that. It's a lot to take. But you will be ok. You have taken action to cut expenses, that's good. Think back to pre BD when you first got this job. They chose you. Someone else will too.

Chin Up Bravo.

I know its tough - and that in your profession, finding another job is very time consuming. I will say this Bravo, you are not the first person to lose their job, and the vast majority of people get through it.

I know you feel crushed right now, and hopeless. But there is hope and I'm sure you are a man who will find his inner strngth and soldier on.

Is there any chance that as a silver lining of this you will have the opportunity to spend more time with your kids for a while?

Ahoy, Jim, Rpp, and Ral,

Thank you so much in checking in & encouragement. Words can't express how much that means to me.

This is the toughest thing/time I've ever been through. I wouldn't stuff like this really happened but here I am. It's tough because as I become a better person everyday, my life falls more and more apart. Case in point, as my supervisors were talking to me and escorting me out to my car-I could see how unhappy they were & I felt bad for them too.

Last night I went to my S first baseball game. He did great and I was proud of him just because he did his best. I smiled & joked & laughed. I even teased a little w/the XW.

so at the game D had a flower that she was trying to put in my pocket and the petals kept coming off. i said that i don't want the petals to come off and kinda looked at XW and ruefully smiled.whenever the other said something harsh we would say "petals". petals signified feelings that are damaged and don't grow back. i said that i've damaged enough petals in my lifetime and i'm never doing it again. she looked at me and said that petals do grow back with time. i said yeah and i'm getting pretty good at it. she said see, and you never thought you'd be able to . just thought that was interesting. she may have been referencing her healing a little bit or that someone else is healing her petals. Just weird exchange.

she also asked if i wanted to come see the house tomorrow night and that the kids would love that. when they left she rolled down the window and said i did great tonight. i didn't bring up my problems or lay them at her feet, i tried to be chipper and upbeat. i'm sure that shocked her.

Goal for the day: move without pain (back has flared up-yea);
Complete 2 police applications (ridiculously involved & time consuming); apply for unemployment (not sure how that works or if it'll cover my bills); find a way to brighten someone else's day.

Sound good?

Glad to hear you are feeling a little better today, Bravo. And yes, those police applications are a giant pain!

Hope your day is going as planned - it sounds like a good list!

Continue to get yourself strong. It's the root of what's causing all of this. We all know how you feel. We were all there. There have been others who have lost their jobs because they couldn't get over thinking about their WAS. Heck, my W's OM showed up at my working place telling me he was going to get me fired.

Hi Bravo,

Keep putting one foot forward.

I got in trouble two months ago because I took a sick day from work (but it was perceived as a personal day, due to BD). I understand how it can all happen.

Your new job (other than to find a new job) is to make yourself strong, like Mr. Bond says. Yes, this all [censored] right now, but I truly believe you will preserve from it. A favorite quote of mine comes from J.K. Rowling in which she says, "rock bottom is the foundation upon which I built my life."

Hang in there!

Real, Bond, & Cal

Thanks for the encouragement. Found something I wanted to share & hope it helps someone else.

Once upon a time, there was a man who was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Saviour appeared. The Lord told the man He had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might.

Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain. Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, Satan decided to enter the picture placing thoughts into the man's mind such as: "You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it." Thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure.

These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man even more. "Why kill myself over this?" he thought. "I'll just put in my time, giving just the minimum of effort and that will be good enough." And that he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

"Lord," he said, "I have laboured long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock a half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?" To this the Lord responded compassionately, "My child, when long ago I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push.

And now you come to me, your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewed and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition, you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done. I, my child, will now move the rock."