Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis H's MLC #8 Never Let them see you sweat!

H Bday, left gift on table. H called and said THANKS.

I got H a watch, I had brought really nice watches in the past and realized I have not seen them in a while. Granted H now works a job where he would NOT wear an expensive nice watch to work.

So today, I said I dont know if you have too many watches and you are welcome to return if you want something else...

Well he says he told me over 1 year ago that a couple of his expensives watches got stolen when his car was broken into.

I do recall H telling about his credit cards etc and other items being stolen and I wonder why in the world they were int he car sitting in a not too nice area anyway...but it seemed to go along with when he was keeping alot of stuff hidden in his cars, like it was going to be his get away (from me) car.

BUT I was not clear at that time that some very expensive watches I brought H was stolen. If I had known then I would have file a claim with insurance...WOW, so I really dont think he told me at that time about the wathces.

AND no he did not file a police report then, he acted like then just closing credit/debit cards was all he needed to do. IF I had known the watches were stolen, I would have ask him to file police report.

WOW...

I'm glad to read that he acknowledged is gift. Unfortunately, mlcers don't think w/a level head when it comes to losing things or having things stolen. Keep in mind, if he was in a your adult stage at that time, he didn't put as much value on the "material things" as we would have and he probably never thought to report the thefts to the police or to the insurance. Then again, he may not have wanted "mom" to know that they were gone. All he was most likely worried about were his credit cards, i.e., which meant his ticket to purchasing were gone until new ones were issued.

In this day and age, no one should be leaving anything in a vehicle that is of value. There are just too many car break in these days. It's water under the bridge now, but I hope he learned something from what happened. I'm sorry you had to hear what happened today.

Job
im sure he did not want to tell me then those were stolen

Hello All,

I'm feeling a little lonely today.
I want to spend some time with my H, want some attention from my H.
Last night when H got home from work, his back was hurting, he took pain meds and sleep in basement on couch. H got up this morning and started yard work. I felt like I was going to start the R talk, so I went and ran some errands.

But the bottom line is I feel really alone, I mean I have my s14, my mom and my friends.
I want some time with my H, attention from my H. When this feeling hits me, this is one I struggle with and this one really can hurt, it just hurts to feel like or to know my H does not want me or this M, not in the way I want or need him to want me and our M right now.

Its days like this, that I sometimes wonder if it would be better to be done with this M, and free to explore other options?

I'm not a woman that needs attention all the time, or to be dated every weekend, but going this long without it is starting to wear thin. Yeah my H and I have sex usually weekly, but I need more emotional connections, I want to be told H loves me, I want to feel that he wants me not just the weekly sex which most times have no deep connection, just physical.

Days like this, I want to be free, a single woman, with the chance to be loved by a man a good man a honest man a spiritual man.

Days like this I don't know how much longer I can accept this?
I love my H, but I don't think he loves me like a husband loves a wife, or like I want to be loved by him?

Just one of those days...

I'm sorry you are having one of those "lonely" days. Question for you is this....what would you do if your h was in a coma? I have a feeling you would find something to do to take your mind off of feeling lonely. Happy, I do understand your need for emotional contact and support, but your h is running on empty right now, he's got absolutely nothing to give, i.e., think of him as being in a coma.

Find something to do, i.e., maybe a new hobby might help.

Job, yeah that is another way to look at it.
If H was in a coma, I would just deal with the lonely, it would be different it would a lonely that my H could not do anything about. So its a little harder to deal in my current situation.

I usually stay as busy as I can, I have lots of things to do that I enjoy doing. But today, today, I would love to be really loved by my H. Today I want to be given a long hug and a deep kiss, to be able to lay my head on his shoulder or to spoon in bed, for H to call me on his lunch break and say he misses me.

Sometimes I stay so busy I wear myself out.

A new hobby, I need to think about this what is something I would want to start to do...

It's so ironic, now that s14 does not need as much of my time and I have more time for my H, now H does not want my time:(

Now that Im not a WAS anymore, my H does not care...

And a very scary thing that has started, I'm so aware of other men and how they act toward me, how much attention they pay to me, the comments I now really hear.

I have actually stopped going to my local lil pub because of some of the attention I get from the single men, I feel weaker now,,before I never paid any attention to other men and only laugh off or ignore any flirting...but now its feels good,,,too good the attention.

Some hobbies that might interest you: yoga, belly dancing or pole dancing. The last two, once you've gotten them down might prove to be interesting to your h. Time to think outside the box for something that will interest YOU and not just to keep you busy.

Belly Dancing...that is something I have thought about at different times, I even have a belly dancing CD.

I will drag that out, and see how I like it, then maybe look for classes in my area.

VENT

SS34 just text me again asking me about bday dinner plans for his dad. I told him to please check with his dad I have no idea, told him his dad tells me NOTHING!!!

I wanted to tell SS34 to stop asking me about his dad in general, going forward just contact his dad when it involves his dad and leave me out of it.

It makes me upset to have to say I dont know, cause I dont even know if H is working today, or if he wants to go to dinner or where or when. These are things I should know about my H.

SS34 will get the hint, cause from now on when he ask me anything related to his dad, Im going to tell him to ask his dad, same for SS26. Leave me out of IT!!!

They can call/text me about the grandkids anytime, about s14, about me, about other family members or issues. BUT call your MLC, "dont want his W" Dad, if its at all related to him. CALL HIM ASK HIM.

AND I'm tired of passing messages from them to him, CALL HIM!

You did the right thing. Your SS34 is a grown man and should be interacting w/his father, i.e., one on one. He's not a teenager any longer. Those two will need to figure out how to interact w/one another.