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Errod, I think Sandi is right. You're getting yourself worked up and you seem to be mind reading all over the place.

Please take yourself off, and give yourself a little time and distance to calm down. You don't want to say and do things you may regret.

I think you are overreacting to D14 not getting back in touch. And you are presuming your W is somehow involved in that. This may not be the case at all.

Just take a step back and be calm about this. Don't add to your W's reasons for not wanting to be with you. Keep in mind - will this get me closer to my goal of reconciling?

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Do you have plans? ((Errod))

Dreading the teenage years.

How was your daughter? Was she upset you crashed her movie watching? Hopefully you didn't make a big deal about it in front of her. It would be hilarious if you sat down in-between the two of them and just watched the movie. Like it was no big deal. I know it's a big deal, but unless you ship her off to a convent, boys will be around.

Talk to her one on one. When she's visiting you. Talk to W about it one on one to. Don't focus on you and W. It's all about the D14. I think it's wise to assume that she's not doing bad things. You want her to hear you and respect what you say. I think people listen better when they're not playing defense. Pills don't work all the time and they don't stop STDs. Kids don't seem to grasp that. I know I didn't.

My D is only 4, so what I wrote above is how I hope to handle it when I walk in and she's watching a movie with senior. However, I won't be walking into the ex's house in 10 years. Which reminds me...

Why did you go over there? Stay away. Driving by her house isn't DBing, walking inside.. definitely not DBing. I know it's hard, I have to fight it all the time. The more you fight the urge to contact, drive by, burst in, etc. the easier it gets.

Everybody is right. I should not have done what I did. I wish I could take that back. I wish I could do so many things differently.

Errod, we all make mistakes. But tomorrow is another day my friend. The thing to do is learn from the mistakes and don't keep making them over and over again. But what has happened is in the past now, you can only move forwards.

I can't recall, have you posted some personal goals for you yet? Nothing to do with your W, but all about stuff that you want to do and working towards a better future for yourself?

T x

The past is in the past now, learn from it and move forward. If you don't you will keep making the same mistakes and regretting them.

Well W was just trying to text me. I told her I really wasn't planning on talking to her today and think we talked enough today. She said I understand and that was that.

Personal goals for myself
1. Be the best father I can be
2. Get my real estate gig off the ground and become the best I can be at it.
3. Find some friends to hang out with
4. Stop making my W my priority.
5. Just be happy again.
6. Find some hobbies that involve other people and not be such a loner.
7. Run a 10k

Good goals to work on. Now what is something you could actively do in the next few days or week to get closer to some of those goals.

Okay, just bear this in mind, if she ever says the same to you. Not criticizing you, just putting a hint in your ear.

If she said the same to me I would be very upset. But I am the one trying to work on things.

I am confused did I do something wrong with my response.

Erodd these are laudable, a starter for 10 although rather non specific. Can you make them less general? Goals need to be achievable, specific and measurable.

What would be fun to try new things.

V does her goals on excel spreadsheets with squillions (exaggeration) of mini steps.

For example: go Ceroc a minimum of once a week on a Sunday and take a set of classes once a month with 2 weekenders a year.
Lose 2 lbs a month by attending boot camp 3 times a week.
Attend the sauna twice a month.

V