Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Part 17 - Edz, living in interesting times

Well that was mixed. Picked up s and we had our usual good time although s was bothered he wanted to spend more time with me he also invited himself tomorrow night as his mum told him to ask me if he wanted to come. So of course he can.

S wanted me to come in tonight when I took him back initially said no but he said he really wanted me to come in. Tried explaining but at 10 he didn't really understand and was upset when I said no ultimately (since I didn't have my phone to check with w first) told him to ask his mum whether she was happy or busy she said no problem come in and have a coffee so I did we watched some TV. Just watched the show and we joked about some bits clear s just wanted us both together w was telling me about her doctors appointment and also she's invited to a wedding tomorrow which is nice for her (invited by one of the brides today) not really that sure what to say to that since I'm not invited clearly so just went with I hope its a good day and my regards to the happy couple.

W was going for a bath and bed and S's bed time and was afraid of overstaying so headed home for something to eat. W is dropping s around tomorrow.

Feel a little disquieted and not sure why w going to a friends wedding would unsettle me or is it the whole me not going with her or something else. Or am I just frazzled from keeping PMA at 100% after swimming. I don't know.

Well frozen Thai curry and glass of white wine later trying to chill slightly hopefully I'll be more relaxed by bed time.

There is always a BFT at home waiting for an Edz. With a loving purr, desire for food and a tummy rub. And S to accompany. Do you remember a time when S was limited days and nights with Edz. Now S can stay if he wants to. Go Edz.

What more could you want!

Other than Liam and cheese for V.

V

Thanks v I can offer the cheese for v but not liam!

Oh yes bft her real name begins with a 'w'! Was a waiting wanted her dinner when I came in chopped fresh ham and chicken for her and it was munched. She's cuddled up to my leg right now.

I got her a new brush today and gave her a good deep coat brush which she hated so much she was upside down with her legs in the air and purring while I pulled half a pound of fur from her. Also got a jumbo sticky brush to take care of the sofa and duvet as its heading into spring and shedding season!

Oh yes more than that v remember when I had 4 hours or when w sat in the car and watched seems an eternity and 5 minutes ago I'm lucky s even wants to be with me infinitely more so he wants to stay and w is happy he does. Ah but the heart doesn't take logic as payment does it!

Well the glass of white wine changed into the bottle but hey no driving tomorrow so that's OK. Much more chilled now as you'd expect and even had a piece of cheeeeeeeese this evening.

I remember (well my notebook does), so be happy about the progress.

Be content with the steady progress.

V

Not heard this before but I really like this phrase - it speaks to me about how I need to be different.

Your doing good edz, just try to rest the noggin!!!

Thanks Jim. Stopping my mind is always my problem. Glad you like the phrase.

Well goodly morning everyone.

Nice morning here and (apart from a mild hangover after some miscreant got me to drink a bottle of white wine to myself - I blame BFT) all is ok over here today.

Havent done the exercises etc as yet as I had an early morning call BUT last of those for a while so I can get back into my routines next week.

Nothing from w since I dropped her an email thanking her for the coffee last night but have dropped her another quick text confirming what time she is bringing s around this evening and to pre-warn him *there will be food shopping!!!!!*

Feel oddly divided right now, mostly happy and chilled but have a sad feeling deep in my gut at the quiet zone w is in again. I know I know *big picture* huuuge progress but we also all know (we do *all* know, right?) about love languages mine are touch and words of affirmation / quality time so at times this can all be a bit punishing. GAL and distractions are helping a lot, exercise especially and, yes, the odd bottle of wine but still BFT is great but apart from dinner time not a great conversationalist!

Ah well, suppose its just me wishing it was a novel, could peek at the ending then and reduce the stress of not knowing whats in her mind. I also still dont get why Im het up over this wedding, I know the brides but not as well as w does (worked with one of them) so...er...what, am I thinking w will meet up with someone there? Dont think its likely unless everything she said last week was bull so, er, why?

Answers on a postcard please to why is edz being a basketcase this week, pobox 123, loopyland, confusedland. c/o BFT fuzzytrousers.

Evening all

Well s is here and Ive just been finishing off some work so about to close off the PC for the day and then much to his chagrin we're off to get the food shopping, I normally try to do it when he's not here or online order it but this week's been busy so its tonight or tomorrow really and he wants soup!

Anyway w bounced some emails back and forth today along with pics of s in a coffee shop. We were mostly talking about his food intake as we're both a little worried about his weight so we're trying to co-ordinate on food etc.

Anyway w came round and had a coffee she was very quiet as she always seems to be around me at first, this time no opening up or relaxing, hey ho. Tried to just have fun with s and we all were talking about the cat who came in to greet them both then I asked did she get everything she wanted for the wedding (tomorrow not today that was me being tired yesterday) yes her and s had picked out a nice trouser outfit again no great details, she seemed distant and didnt stay long.

So anyway will go and be with s for the next couple of days and just get on. I wish I knew what she was thinking I get the feeling sometimes its a way to withdraw and not hurt anyone (w doesnt do conflict) or maybe its just a plan to move forward or thing or...well, anything. I know this wedding is playing on my mind, still dont know why, Im pretty much chilled and relaxed otherwise although I do feel very tired emotionally from propping up the PMA and obviously around s thats all Im showing right now, I dont want to contribute to him feeling fragile or in the middle so happy daddy is all he'll see, just a little frazzled especially when w is so quiet as I find myself questioning am I saying enough, too much, the wrong thing pushing too fast or just validating.

Anyway unlikely to hear much now until Sunday, she'll go into friends mode tomorrow which she's always done and s and I will just get on with our time together. Sunday who knows. Last week I felt completely in the dumps Saturday night to the point of thinking should I just give up then we had a great day and I thought genuinely moved on a bit, I was expecting a pullback but I honestly couldnt read where she is right now, one minute happy smiling the next a million miles away, silent and frosty.

Sigh...

Well on with month 8 I suppose!

Anyway Tescos awaits.

Edz
If you have not objection to discussing this.

What is the issue with S weight exactly?

V