I now really want to make something of myself to almost make him regret doing this to me.
That's almost DBing. More like make him wish he had never lost you. So get to work, you have the awesome and fun task of becoming the woman only a total fool would leave!
(((Cherry)))
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Think I am undoing all my good work. He ended up getting me stressed picking a fight so I ranted about the OW. He claims he has felt like this since before OW got involved. He goes out of his way today to message me which was in a way he knows would wind me up. Telling me he's going to be late back ( he never usually messages me at all- especially to say he will be late) and its up to me if I believe him or not. He then tells me he needs to stop before he says something he regrets. I don't actually think he has any rights to call any shots right now. If anyone has any guidance on how to handle this I'd appreciate it. He said we will talk when he gets back, but to be honest the way I am right now I will rant and rave and ruin all of my hard work. Any tips on how to handle this?! I do want this to work but I know that things need to change. Boundaries need to be made, and I shall make it clear I will in no way support his divorce.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
I have tried some validating but he just honestly pushed my buttons. I'm still recovering from a traumatic birth of our child that almost ended up in the loss of me and baby- and I have pnd so I'm finding things difficult.
I'm trying to be calm. I'm tired of the drama, I want to run far far away
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
It is going to take time to get detached enough to not react with emotion. Until then, the best you can do is to try to catch yourself before you react and excuse yourself from the conversation. Be polite yet firm.
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
Hi. Not a vet but don't get involved in talks until your ready If he starts the talks listen, don't react , listen more , don't react. Don't react. Nothing you say will change his mind at the moment. Take your anger or sadness or disappointment and listen to what his says , validate , not agree, understand how he thinks, not agree with how he thinks and if your struggling to listen tell him you need to think and walk away This is all very hard but it can be done Stay strong for you and your child.
Thank you all. I don't intentionally mean to argue- and I have done so well for weeks. But he pushed my buttons. I'm due to go back to work soon- where both he and his OW work. As if it's not bad enough going back after Mat leave. This is all so difficult.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
