I loved the "living an easy life on my dime" line in Robx speech. Part of her "poor me" attitude is that she's had this very cushy "mom hours" part-time job for 20 years. I was OK with it when the girls were younger. Now she's going to have to actually show some initiative and go out and find something she can support herself with. I used to feel guilty about doing that to her, but that was only for about 5 minutes.
"Big girl panties" indeed. The more this sinks in, the better I feel.
Last edited by Rzrback; 03/20/1504:07 PM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Thanks all, we ended up having an actual productive and respectful R talk today; about our core issues and where they started...not about the A. It's not really about the A for me anymore. That was a symptom.
Afterwards she asked me where we were. I just told her that I see where she's coming from, and I'm no longer sure we're repairable. That's not just manipulation. It's true. Two months ago I would have opposed S; now I'm thinking it's the right thing for me. We need to be out of each other's faces, and I need the quiet to figure out if this M is really what I want anymore.
Last edited by Rzrback; 03/20/1509:15 PM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
I'm really getting to enjoy early mornings like this; everyone's asleep, and I have plenty of time to enjoy my coffee, write, and think.
We went to a friend's party last night. We had a good time, although the wine helped a bit, I'm sure. I had a great time sitting out in front of their outdoor fireplace, chatting with some of the guys. It's amazing how much I enjoy just simple, pleasant conversation nowadays
She said something about being terrified that I was leaving. Good. She asked for a delay in me moving out so she could get through her surgery next month, since she'll need my help with recovery, at least for a few days. I'm OK with that. Her health is important enough. It would take me a few weeks to nail down an apartment and get finances in order anyway.
I remember she said a while back that one of the reasons she had lost faith in me was that I was not a boat rocker and would not confront when necessary. She was right about that. She should be more careful what she wishes for. This boat is getting rocked.
Goal for today, GAL, have a good day. I have a student to fly with in a couple of hours, then work out (race is next weekend). The weather's going to be beautiful here today, in the 70s. My kind of day. I do NOT love winter.
My goal with her is to be her friendly neighbor. I'm done initiating affection with her. If she wants a husband, and I mean a husband for real, she knows where to find me. She's going to have to pull some of the weight around here. She really thinks that I should do all the work of repairing our relationship since it's my fault it's broken. She says I had everything with her and I threw it away. I'm remembering things a bit differently. I love her, to be sure, but she wasn't always the best wife herself.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
I hope you really mean it, about keeping it friendly neighbor. I am wondering...........are you still sleeping in the same bed with your neighbor? This needs to get real for her, Rzrback.
Be prepared, b/c I think she's going to mess with your head. She doesn't want you but she is scared of you leaving. So, guess what's coming?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
No backslide. It's amazing how when she realized I was no longer sure that I wanted to continue that the spew stopped cold and she suddenly became respectful and warmer.
As my inner Vulcan would say, "Fascinating"
I'm standing fast. She's going to have to show serious commitment and no more spew. I'm done being her punching bag. I fully anticipate that she'll try and initiate sex tonight. As hard as that is, I'm going to have to insist on full commitment from her first before we can have sex again. If that doesn't throw her for a loop, nothing will. I was going to take her out for dinner tonight but that's on hold.
I'm sleeping in the same bed, but I really don't have anywhere else to go at the moment. Our house is small.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
