Yes, been following DR and Sandi's rules. First 2 days of separation I did not, and it was going downhill fast. Been 3-4 conflict free days since then. The tension in the house is definitely gone, but she is still icy except for the aforementioned interactions. I am scheduled to pick her up from the airport Sunday night at 9:00.
Me: 44 Her: 42 T: 22, M: 20 D:18, S:16, S:11 Sep: 6 months in 2002 Sep again: March 15, 2015 (5 months) WAW talk again: January 21, 2019
Will not talk about relationship until be see counselor next Thursday. That will be the first time we will have talked about it since we agreed to 1 month under the same roof separation and counseling. Earlier that day, she said it would probably be better if we got a divorce because she couldn't see me changing. I told her I would change to save the marriage, if for the kids only. She asked how she could believe me that I would change, because I haven't in 15 years. She was tired of believing me and letting her guard down, she had built up and wall and didn't know who she was anymore. I have been DB/DRing ever since then. My changes and 180s, and have been great. I have been disconnecting from work, my head, my device, etc. to be in the moment with the kids. I am always upbeat around the house and give her plenty of space - Sandi's rules!
Me: 44 Her: 42 T: 22, M: 20 D:18, S:16, S:11 Sep: 6 months in 2002 Sep again: March 15, 2015 (5 months) WAW talk again: January 21, 2019
Goals for counseling (this is a female pro-marriage Gotten style counselor): 1) Let my wife vent in a "protective" environment 2) Validation - directly from the validation cheat sheet 3) High light what I am working on without making it seem like I am telling my wife I am changing.
Any thoughts from you guys?
Me: 44 Her: 42 T: 22, M: 20 D:18, S:16, S:11 Sep: 6 months in 2002 Sep again: March 15, 2015 (5 months) WAW talk again: January 21, 2019
Yesterday morning I ended up sending flowers to her aunt's house, but didn't tell anyone. Last night, I got a text from my W asking if I sent flowers. I texted back "I did". She then replied. "Thank you. Everyone was asking because the card said from you and the family...that was very sweet." I didn't send anything back. Before bed, she FaceTimed with the kids, but didn't acknowledge my presence. Man I feel like I am on a roller coaster. Anyone have any thoughts? Also, She asked if I could pick her up from the airport on Sunday evening, but went on to tell me her best friend was busy at that time...is she trying to bait me into a reaction?
Me: 44 Her: 42 T: 22, M: 20 D:18, S:16, S:11 Sep: 6 months in 2002 Sep again: March 15, 2015 (5 months) WAW talk again: January 21, 2019
