Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Vanilla Fudged 11

Hi V

Just dropping by, if you like white wine try the pedro jiminez from Lidl thats mighty fine.

Hope you are feeling inside as strong as you sound here, you're an exceedingly capable person in both practicalities and understanding, we care for "our" V (although you are "your" V and be proud of that) and we want her to thrive.

I really hope things swing your way and you start to get the days you deserve

Edz

Toots
These are two mothers, the first of whom H says is very selfish (although she has lived with a compulsive gambler for 60 years) and the second of whom he says is selfish (and wants her H to smother her with a pillow), he is buying flowers for these two women for a W he describes as (guess!) selfish. Hmmmmmm.....
Smoke and mirrors!

I enjoyed the cheeeeese, but in the end no wine.

K

I am glad your xH1 got enough help to co parent the children. How much easier to do this in the beginning! I have no clue as to what H will do, up to him. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. And that is what has happened with gambling and now this abuse, I hold myself accountable here for the lack of recognition of the problem (but not for the abuse), and I actually think there was a lack of enabling in my behaviour. Like most people I saw abuse as black eyes, anger, drama, control and physical interaction. It is none of those things in most cases, it is control, belittling and entitlement, largely based on fear and the need to feel important. I am not ashamed and will be open about this. Abuse flourishes where there are dark corners.

MCS, thank you for dropping by the thread, it is a difficult time and usually we do have some lighter moments. Thank you for noticing change, I feel changed in this, DB is for life, a life skill. There will be freedom for V, H may change and his mood altered, the cycle here is 12 months from honeymoon to honeymoon period so this phase will last at least 18 months. At this point 100% to 50% ration is more like 100% to 10%. Abuse is worse with each cycle and this is the second cycle, no more thank you H.

Dancing for a whole weekend! I need it.

V has gone back to blonde (her natural colour), because of the swimming the auburn went 'funny' but the shorter look is still there. My long hair went last time. Good news hairdresser says the healthy lifestyle has encouraged new hair growth with lots of new baby hair. V had cancer in 2001 and lost most of her hair and really it never recovered. The beans and protein are clearly helping.

I did forget to mention that I hit my 12 lb target and in the last two weeks I only need 2lb loss to hit the magic limit to get the next month of boot camp free of charge. Trainer knows I have a dance weekend and is prepared to 'swap' the weekend for me, for two week days next week.

The weather is good, sun is shining and the sea calm. I may go get my nails varnished.

V

Edz

I am off to Lidl as we speak so I will pick up a bottle of Pedro!

V

Enjoy V, have a glass for me

I've just been listening to a spot of Vanilla Fudge on Deezer :-)

And I'll be passing Lidl tonight on the way Tae kwon-Do. mind you I won't get anything as my flatmates are AA.

I guess I could something for the weekend at Storm though.

Vanilla, you are so strong! A huge inspiration. Hope you have a lovely, relaxing few days of Vanilla time - you deserve it!

OD

You can leave in your car boot, that's what I do and several carrier bags, apart from fresh stuff I just unpack as I need things.

Here is my packing list for Storm:

pillow, large towel, dressing gown, single duvet, flip flops, torch

T towel, j cloths, pan scrub, washing up liquid, paper towels, extra loo roll, non stick fry pan, bottle opener thingy with all sorts of bits (scissors, corkscrew), salt, coffee, long life milk, fry spatula, fry oil, matches, knife

Also take an exercise water bottle, to refill in the classes (saves buying and you will drink loads), comfy shoes and dance shoes (smooth soled so well worn will do!)

I always take double the number of t shirts I think I need and a fleece for between classes.

I save all the ends of the bottles, half used bits, sachets from restaurants and then after they go in the bin. If the weather is bad I also take a fan fire, hat, gloves and boots. Umbrella for ladies.

Eggs, smoked salmon, bread, cheese, microwave pilau rice, soup, pasta, tinned ratatouille, pesto, pre cooked chicken, tail end of a chutney jar! And wine.

Oh and this time Purple Bed Socks!

V

The nice Lidl lady went looking for the box delivered by our friend Pedro, I have two bottles.

Nicely chilling in fridge.

Cheers Susan hic!

V

Car boot? I'm on the train and bus with a smallish rucksack!

Thank you for the list though.

And I do have purple socks, so they will be first in the bag :-)

OK

Essentials:

pillow if you can (yuk to their pillows)
T shirts
Water bottle
Shoes
Purple socks!

There is a shop on site, wine is pricey. If you are sharing then your housemate may be in a car.

V