Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Part 16 - edz, just edz

Jim! - Welcome back! - Hope your trip went well? (sorry for the hijack Edz) - wise words from Jim as always...

Well, it's wet and grey here - but I hope you all have a lovely Friday....

Morning Toots. Its been a busy little period but I'll start a new thread and update there. Suffice to say Italy was good.

Its also wet and grey here but then I'm only about 30 miles from you.

It's wet and grey here too and that is miles away!

Longing to hear about Jims trip and the GAL.

Huge hint there Edz!

GAL has a lovely sound to it. like cheeeeese or moooose
V

Good morning all

Welcome back Jim, I will pop over to your thread when I get a mo.

Yup south coast (as Jim has said) is pretty much a big ol' pile of Meh weather wise this morning.

Exercises back on track this morning (didnt get done yesterday as was too bushed after 3 hours sleep) hair done showered shaved and working. Tried new King of shaves gel this morning in my continuing attempt to move away from all the generic (as V put it) fly spray stuff that I just used to pick up with the shopping. Very nice, cooling stuff.

So working right now, w coming around to drop s off later, staying for coffee I believe. PMA a bit better today if still a bit broken crockery rattling around in my cupboard.

GAL, ah my nemesis GAL, yes nothing today alone. S may or may not (he's tribulating) go to card club if not we'll head off swimming I think exercise for both of us. Tomorrow well if by some miracle the weather is better we may go play mini golf (w has a standing invite but will say no Im sure - heyho) and sunday is md so we'll be meeting w at the cafe lunchtime.

Then depends how lunch goes and whether w just wants to go back to the flat with s and me leave to spend time with him md when I get away really and then back to work monday. So busy busy busy.

Hi Edz, thanks for your comments on my thread and I hope you're doing okay?

Did you and S get up to some nice things today? And are the Mother's Day plans in place for tomorrow?

I'm Mum-sitting tomorrow, whilst Dad takes himself off to London for the afternoon. Looking forward to it. She has dementia, but is still great company. I have bought a couple of movies for her and some nice chocolates. We'll have a ladies day.

Hope things go well for you tomorrow. (((Edz)))

I wish you lot were all here dancing GAL drinking Pedro and eating Lidls.

V

We're there in spirit, V! Can you imagine...all of us there on the dance floor. How amazing!!

Hi v
Sound like you're having fun, I'd go with the eating and drinking dancing a non starter with my leg but hey I'd watch!

Thanks toots ((toots))

A split day today. Last afternoon w dropped s off he finished some Minecraft home Ed work and w had a few coffees. She was quiet but we had a chat on stand up comedy and a few other bits. Once w went s and I went out swimming and grabbed a burger afterwards. Today after breakfast noticed my tablet had hosed itself so we went to tesco who were good enough to swap it for a new one.

Weather and tired s meant we took it fairly easy today been some games, music and fun. Had to take a little time to myself though as I felt extremely emotional and didn't want to drag s into it all just felt like I had a hollow place inside last few days.

Not directly connected to w, I love her, want our m but if no reconciliation is possible I won't throw myself under a bus. Its more I just don't feel like I've been wanted as a person (apart from s) for a very long time and I find it hard to believe I will again right now, just low.

Gal ironically doing well... Yoga starts first week of April so picked up some bits for that today (mat some kit etc) also looking to take a wine tasting evening but the group hasn't confirmed that yet.

So s had a great time with online play with his friends tonight set up Bluetooth so he could chat to friends and he had a great time as did I watching him. Made pizza and salad and actually got the portions right for him finally.

Tucked him up and bft defected to his bed! Hey they're both happy.

Tomorrow meeting w for lunch. Bought a new crimson sweater I really like that I'll be wearing it along with the new black chinos and leather jacket will have s showered hair washed and ready as well. Did offer to pick s up but she said she'll meet us there (cafe is not far from the flat)

Have a card ready for s to write out tomorrow morning and helped him pick some nice Lillys (w loves lillys and s loved their colour) no idea on after lunch. I'm planning on w wanting to take s home without spending any more time with me to be honest I haven't slept well in a week, if that's the case I'm going to bed with a couple of sleeping tablets and my kindle and crashing till monday. If not hey that's an unexpected bonus I'll take it but not expecting it.

Thing resurfaced this week too (not from w just the other info) she's really conflicted and that's becoming obvious but its also becoming obvious that I'm missing adult female company (not just the physical side but that's a factor) friends care and ask me should I be moving on, I answer I am but I'm waiting for w and standing for my m but as time goes on and I get older I wonder is this the right thing to do?

I love w but w hasn't shown thats true in her case for a long time and whilst I know I don't need someone to validate who I am anymore will she ever believe that and will I feel the returned love I obviously want in a relationship?

I worry I'm not sure on the answers to those questions and I'm not sure on the next steps apart from the usual if unsure do nothing but what's been working. So stand I do and warm reciprocal contact and low hassle is the order of the day but its so, so hard right now guys and gal or no gal I'm running low on emotional fuel for the fires..

Thanks for checking in on me though and toots I sincerely hope your contact leads to some where you so deserve to be.

Night all

Edz

Well a peaceful morning after getting some sleep at last. Exercises and shower and a light breakfast for s. We've spent some time listening to music and yes having a bash at Minecraft before its time to wash his hair and get him ready.

Checked this morning and I've lost another 2lbs this week which is good but no change to waist size which isn't mmmmm will switch up gym machines this week.

Now less than 2 stone to go and I can see shape is changing at last although muffins ain't going anywhere yet. Was down last night so toast and cheeeeeese popped in about 11 but at least it was sliced and weighed. The two pieces of toast probably didn't help though! Did an extra 10 reps this morning to reduce the damage anyway.

Texted w to confirm she didn't need a lift just got back see you there so she's walking then. Feel the same really I'm girded for Max PMA and calm reflective warmth today but will let s lead the day really. M day is always bittersweet to me anyway as I lost my mum when I was in my mid 20s to cancer but I had w and s to balance it.

Anyway need to extract child from Minecraft, never that easy a job, wash his hair which isn't either and get cards written and everything in the car in the next two hours. Mission starts...

Later guys.

Evening all

Just back. Was a nice lunch and w invited me in. We all spent some time together helped out with s who threw a tantrum about going back on games. Just worked with w and calm talking. We ended up playing a card game with him then he went off for his bath.

W was looking tired and going quiet and on her phone so took that as my cue to go. No r talk apart form a very small bit on the bank but that was mostly to say I'll talk to her next month on whether we should split some bits wasnt the day to talk about it only came up since w was talking about pay and accounts etc.

So back home PMA held up and was calm and happy. Drained now though and heading for bed before work again tomorrow sigh.

It was great right up until I had to get back in the car and come back here. W swears she isn't stalling just needs more time but its still difficult. Anyway just burbling now, going to crash out.

Catch you guys soon.