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I do realise how important it is ... now RP. To my shame and regret, I didn't during our relationship. My only excuse is during my upbringing, I was never taught any kind of romance.


3rd draft

Thank you for your email WAW. I wanted to take some time to read what you said and collect my thoughts before I replied.

I hear what you say regarding the children, that their well being is paramount. I understand your concerns and I will be more attentive to those issues. I know you always think of our children first and I appreciate that. We may fall short at times but we both love them dearly and always do our best for them.

I was upset to hear that you never felt beautiful. I cannot imagine how you you must have felt, but it must have been hard to bear. I would like to say you are a very beautiful woman and a fantastic mother. I greatly admire the way you have looked after the boys, especially in the past few years whilst I was away.

We have already discussed the logistics of S15’s operation and recovery to some extent but we need to decide who is doing what, when and how best to support him. I am so proud of him, the way he is handling this, he is such a star.

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I realise much of this is playing around with what you've already written. I have tried to make it sound more like me without losing any of the intent or adding superflous stuff.

^^^ od, better! But watch the "we need to"..., I think.

Much better OD

V

Sounds much better OD - like the first two paragraphs - but agree about the 'we need to' - maybe have another look at that last section?

T :-)

OD. Nothing to offer but moral support. Your getting there. Take care. Rd

Re: 'we need ...'

I thought it would provide a sense of togetherness in our outlook towards caring for S15. Am I wrong?

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I probably need to get this off today as I'll be going back this evening, although she'll be out at a work drinking session.

My H uses the phrase "I need you to ". I'm sure that works beautifully for his employees but sometimes rubs me the wrong way. If I were reading your letter, I'd rather hear "let's do x" than "we need to do x". Thats a very subtle difference but less pressuring imo.

How about 'a good choice for us' or simply 'I would want us to'

V

I think 'we need to' is OK here as we do actually need to but I take your point and 'let's do x' does sound friendlier. Thanks RP.

And so v3.1
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Thank you for your email WAW. I wanted to take some time to read what you said and collect my thoughts before I replied.

I hear what you say regarding the children, that their well being is paramount. I understand your concerns and I will be more attentive to those issues. I know you always think of our children first and I appreciate that. We may fall short at times but we both love them dearly and always do our best for them.

I was upset to hear that you never felt beautiful. I cannot imagine how you you must have felt, but it must have been hard to bear. I would like to say you are a very beautiful woman and a fantastic mother. I greatly admire the way you have looked after the boys, especially in the past few years whilst I was away.

We have already discussed the logistics of S15’s operation and recovery to some extent but let's work out a few more details about who is doing what, when and how best to support him this weekend. I am so proud of him, the way he is handling this, he is such a star.

That reads A-OK to me OD. I like the 'lets' instead of 'we need' - lets sounds suggestive and we need sounds instructive....all good.

Hope it is received well OD. I often think - whatever would our S's make of it if they knew our simple email had been redrafted 5 times with input from friends all over the world!

My H are in touch at the moment - working on a plan to divide our assets. I'm waiting for him to suggest a way forward later today - eek...

Take care OD (())