No, you're not understanding. It's realizing that you can NOT control her actions and these are HER MISTAKES TO MAKE.
it's not about having an "o don't give a fu!#" attitude, it's about seeing what she is doing and responding by just living YOUR life.
It's like watching the Jerry Springer show, you just sit back shake your head and watch the drama unfold but you are just a spectator not a participant.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
How do I show her I'm the better man? We had a pretty good weekend last weekend. She called me up and said she wanted to take me out for my birthday, we went to dinner and dancing had a great time. Sat we spent all day toghter till about 2, then she left and went to the OM house and went dancing with him. She called me up at 1am and told me we needed to talk. I said ok what do you want to talk about? she said Ill come by tomorrow and talk to you. She answered a lot of questions for me that have been plauging my mind. I asked y, she said I really don't know, I have no responsibilities now. I asked is he a better man than me? she said no not hardly, I asked if he treated her as good as I did? she laughed and said no way. I asked if she was happy, she said thats kind of tricky, I am happy I have all this freedom now, but I see what it's doing to you and the kids and that upsets me a lot, she said I'm truly sorry this happened. Then she told me that this was something that she just had to do right now. She told me she still loved me and she needed time to figure this all out. Then monday she sent me a text and said that she does think she'll be back but she doesn't know how soon. So Am I doing the right thing?
How do I show her I'm the better man? We had a pretty good weekend last weekend. She called me up and said she wanted to take me out for my birthday, we went to dinner and dancing had a great time. Sat we spent all day toghter till about 2, then she left and went to the OM house and went dancing with him. She called me up at 1am and told me we needed to talk. I said ok what do you want to talk about? she said Ill come by tomorrow and talk to you. She answered a lot of questions for me that have been plauging my mind. I asked y, she said I really don't know, I have no responsibilities now. I asked is he a better man than me? she said no not hardly, I asked if he treated her as good as I did? she laughed and said no way. I asked if she was happy, she said thats kind of tricky, I am happy I have all this freedom now, but I see what it's doing to you and the kids and that upsets me a lot, she said I'm truly sorry this happened. Then she told me that this was something that she just had to do right now. She told me she still loved me and she needed time to figure this all out. Then monday she sent me a text and said that she does think she'll be back but she doesn't know how soon. So Am I doing the right thing?
We had a pretty good weekend last weekend. She called me up and said she wanted to take me out for my birthday, we went to dinner and dancing had a great time. Sat we spent all day toghter till about 2, then she left and went to the OM house and went dancing with him.
That's your idea of a pretty good weekend??!!! Gee, I'd hate to see what a crappy one would be ....
You are squarely in the gay friend zone.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
