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I imagine you're in the land of nod by now (if not why not you rotten stay up ) but I can understand the above. Its about power and manipulation of emotions to put the onus of the abuse back on the abused.

At the most simplistic I can put it, its not right and its so unfair that feelings get twisted to further peoples need of control. I have no answers and I dont dare presume I know enough to profer advice on avoiding it Gg safe to say you are intelligent and able to spot the signs. Yes I think it may be something that will give you pause on trusting which is why I think the "buffet" is a good idea and getting to know someone regardless of expected outcome will be so good.

Just relax and watch the expectations and also get a reaaaaaaly big box of lego for ms fix it (or send her on her hols with mr fixit then he wont bother me )

Have a good night Gg, catch you later.

Gg, I am not convinced we allow abuse! More tolerate it because of one fear or another.

The abuser abuses, their decision, in the short term at the time we have to do what is needed for survival. It is what happens next that is important.

That is why I get very angry at the abuse of the vulnerable, children or animals. I would lock the abuser away and P on them 10 times a day. After eating beetroot!

V

In a way, they do it because it works in the short term. We allow our bounderies to be pushed back in the name of harmony and happiness.


We all know it doesn't work in the longer term.
Selfish people will be sounding you out to see what you will let slide and what you won't.
Perhaps in maybell thread, it was pointed out her h was looking and sound her out for wriggle room. When there was none, he offered and paid the child's school trip.

When she was up front and said nope, this is how it is ie set the line in the sand it happened.

A real narc is looking at and testing your boundaries. And pushing them back every step of the way. They too like gamblers are compulsive liars. They need to stage manage their whole life, onky showing that good mask.

My h was told before at bd, I think there is a moral need for contact with s17.
H didn't carry thru, the. Later with ic advice, I told him nope, s17 doesnt care to have contact doesn't want to see you and we think nc, please respect that.

H hasn't, he has been getting cousin to give s17 work. H approached xh and stated I will be having contact. Xh thought well perhaps that was our agreement and did not say no.

Emtional abusers, dont think they abuse. They don't understand the cycle and often blame the abused by projection for Abusing them and treating them bad.

H used to often bellow you don't treat me with respect but it was more about treating him as center of everything. Every thing needed to be discussed, with the exception of what h was doing. Very controlling and parental, dictatorship almost.

While thing were flowing h way and he thought he had control, things were pretty good. when h flew into fear mode, then it got ugly.

Oh and I got side tracked, s17

Well seems he's picking up the odd days work here and there. Some bloke called stick has been giving him one off days. ( I kid you not)

I did text back and forth, but it seems mummy put to much pressure on asking if he had done his lience yet!

Had told him nosey neighbours news earlier in the week, seems like s17 is growing a tad. Becoming a bit more open too.

Morning Gg

Well that sounds like an interesting development with S17. Is it the work etc stabilising or did the stabilising lead to the work do you think?

Dunno, seems it's not very much work and I susoect its a one off.

I tore open a bank statement which wasnt mine but s17. All money bar 5c was outward bound and nothing paid in since last year.

Today at work ho hum. See they expected mr somebodyelsejob to do this ams work.

When I got there I become ms welltobaditsnowyourpooppile sigh. Did mange to sort it, In The end.

Now have a large stif drink, that shift always drives me to friggen drink. You don't get to see anyone, nor talk to anyone! Your so busy you run out of time.

S17 is going to have do something with his dog, it attacked the lamb again. No damage as far as I can see. The other dogs let you know he's attacking him.

Party tomorrow. That's something to look forward to. I can't wait.

Oh no on lamb! Good that all seems ok though.

Laughed at welltobaditsnowyourpooppile that sounds like every single morning I start, we're in a team of 5 people all over the UK, we get assigned jobs by teams of 100s of engineers who effectively say that to us thinking we are much bigger as we have a pretty good resolution rate. I think I'll steal that for my next status report!

Over on Toots thread we're talking about Mr/Mrs/Ms Fixits, said I havent seen mine in a few days, he must be hanging around with your Ms I can.. lol

Have a good evening

I'll expect royalties there edzs.

It was a big poop pile, trust me. Nods so glad it's over.
I loooove the mentality, not. I try to do the most I can but too much wasn't done.


Ponders searching that on fb! Lol

I think the lamb was just shaken up, weaned and attacked in the same week.

Morning gg,

So is it party day (er night) er something?!?! There today?

We'll be needing details, descriptions you know

Catch you later

I also think this - Mrs welltoobaditsnowyourpooppile - is a DB classic. I laughed out loud. GG, you are priceless sometimes!