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Joe,

I read your story and it is somewhat similar to mine. Now that I think about it, I think my W may be having an MLC as well. She's a year younger than yours and her older sister went through it (and was on the verge of divorce) around the same age as well.

My W also recently started a night job and our time together has been limited as well.

And also some of the things she has said since her first BD;
"I can't go on like this for another 40 years."
"There has to be more to life than this."

And so forth.

I am still DB'ing (or trying to) and I'm hoping we can get through this.

Also,

Keep posting!

I am new too and this forum is saving my sanity!

My wife started small changes around 41. Than about 4 months after that it really started changing. Really concerned about her appearance, wanting to be left alone, ordering beauty products she never used before, always mentioning guys checking her out, not talking to the older kids or anyone else in the family. She even hid in her room for quite awhile. Also she has had some menopause symptoms. Headaches, night sweats, aches and irregular things. I have tried to be there for her the best I can. Right now I am just giving her space. I learned alot about what I need to work on after our last relationship discussion. She told me about all the things I have done through our past that hurt her and how I made her feel. She also told me that she just wants somethings for herself right now. Her own room, her own job and a new truck. I have never denied her any of these things, but for some reason right now she thinks I have. So I am trying to work on whatever I can so I don't make her feel that way. I can see how alot of things I have done have made her feel like that. But that was not my intention, but I do need to work on these things.

My W has also pointed out to me that guys hit on her all the time.

She never used to do that. To be honest, in the past I never had any reason to suspect anything. It has only been the last year that I have wondered if there was something going on.

Mine neither. Not until BD1 for me.

Not to toot my own horn, but I am in good shape and women hit on me as well. I just laugh it off.

So here is the most confusing thing about all this, a couple weeks ago we had a talk and I told her about how I was tired of living in separate bedrooms. I told her I was done and had enough. This is not what a marriage should be. We had a long talk and she cried and told me about alot of the things I have done through our relationship that have hurt her and how certain things made her feel. I just sat there and listened and apologized to her. She was right about what she said. Than the weird thing happened. I thought she would ignore me for a few days like normal. Instead she texted me later that night while she was working and said we should go to lunch the next day. She said good night and I love you. I was kinda shocked. So ever since than I have been getting a hug before she goes to work at night every once in awhile. I have also got a few more texts saying she loved me. Yesterday I got one in the morning saying " hope you have a good day. I Love You". These kind of texts have not been happening for quite awhile. I figured after our talk that things would be way worse. So lately I have been working hard on trying to be a more loving husband. I have left her notes of how I appreciate her once in awhile. I have texted her once in while to let her know I loved her. I have been wearing my wedding ring also. I'm not sure if it matters or not. I have never worm it the whole time we were married. The only reason was I did not like rings. But I can't really get upset at her if she would stop wearing hers if I am not wearing mine. Plus it may have bothered her and she never said anything. This whole mid life stuff and these issues are so confusing. I don't know if I am doing this right or not. I do know since I started doing these things to show her how much I care and appreciate her, things have been slowly getting better. In the past I have not done these things. Maybe this is my 180?

Joe,

I'm not an expert, but that sounds like progress to me.

I am looking at it that way. But I tell you what Leon01, this separate bedrooms thing [censored]. I will be praying for you. I pray all the time for my marriage and all the others on here. How are things going with you Leon01?

Joe,

Things are OK. I was feeling down after discovering the pictures on the W's phone last night. I am feeling a little better today, but not much. She did call and ask to make dinner for the family tonight but I think it may be more out of guilt. I have GOT to stop trying to analyze everything she does. That has my emotions all over the place.

We have been sleeping in separate beds since before Christmas, so I understand your feelings on that. We actually haven't had and physical contact since then either.

Thanks for the prayers. I am praying for us all as well.