Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis H's MLC #7 And the games continue

Do you have one of those doorbells in the deer butts on the porch? (just popped into my head when you mentioned the camo..)

They are a trip to say the least. But the thing is, you can't know if it's a game or not. You can't know if it's "crisis" or not. Until you show up and see for yourself. I would imagine if they tried to re-emerge, that it would look "odd" and be confusing for a while, until somebody decides to be "present".

Can be painful or it can be exciting. I'm glad to see you're opting to go along with it. I think that's a great play!

AJ

AJM

Camo Jeans and Tshirt for dinner with guests. LOL

I went along we had a great dinner with guests.

I don't know what is going on or where my H is in his journey. I just try to be a better person each day and work on my issues, GAL and make the best decisions I can make at that moment in time.

This is not easy living with my H, but I know life will not always be easy.

Im trying to be patient and as long as my H does not have another OW, with EA or PA I will continue trying for now.

I see you have an age gap relationship with the hubby 8 or 9 years older. So in this sitch it looks like he is the one who stepped out first. Normally its the younger one.

Has your age gap presented you any problems?

Age gap has never been an issue for me. I think I prefer older men.

You mention its usually younger one who steps out? I did not think age matter when it comes to cheating?

Age does not matter. What it is though the situation of 10 years age gaps and more.

The trend is the younger thinks they are missing out due to living closer to the older's likes.

Out at local pub last night with friends.
Was told by friends husband that his friends ask about me and he has to keep telling them im married.
Then a guy approached me and when i told him i was married he said if i had on my ring he would know.

i took off my ring cause it reminded me that i was married to a man who was no longer sure about being married to me.

but really i have no intentions of not honoring my marriage vows.
I may start wearing my ring in certain situations.

Coming here to vent

H made a BIG deal out of spending yesterday with family, did not allow s14 to go hang with friends said he adjusted his OT work day to go in 3rd shift to spend time with us..ok Great we had a nice day

H tried to have sex, I did not want a quicky so did not happen, H got a lil bother, but I told him dont get mad cause Im asking for more, for what I want.

So fast forward to later when H is getting ready for work...he is late but does not seem bother by that,,so I start to wonder IF he was really going to work

3rd shift 1030-630am, so this morning I notice that his work shoes are still here (he has other that he can wear but the boots he normally wear are home), I think I see the work sweatshirt both of them at home (but not sure how many he has) he wears a uniform of certain pants and a tshirt or sweatshirt .

H calls me on my cell and work number at 7ish am but I dont answer either cause I feel like I would have blurted out questions like

why did I see your work boots and sweatshirt at home, why did you not see to rush to be on time last night and did you really work last night.

yes I wonder if he was with a new or the old OW?

for some reason when he is home and we spend time together I get all in my feelings.

I'm also nervous about next month valentines day which is when I found out about OW last year.

It will be 2years BD soon, and I'm needing and wanting more, getting very tired of riding this MLC train...a train that at times seem to be going nowhere...

Sorry, been gone on a two week work trip, just got caught up.



So, I get the part of being a little less available. But as a guy... doing what you did stings, not just a little, but a lot.

By no means am I suggesting you just be submissive and "open up" at his beck and call. But is there some middle ground there? Instead of a flat out rejection and moving into "I am asking for more"?

Let me ask you this: Did it make him closer? Or further?

Hey wounded,,,welcome back
Im sure it did NOT help move him closer...but I just was not in the mood for a quicky, just was not. My mind went to if you want me make time for it. I could have enjoyed myself, then later maybe mention would have like to have more time...

H just called again and said I called you earlier to ask you a question about s14. I lied and said I did not see the calls...

He ask his question, we talked about my upcoming trip to see sister in law (H's sister), I nicely ask him if he was tired from 3rd shift and how was it, H said it was easy shift and he was tired but would be ok...I told him to have a great day.

Good to be back, ty!

Oh, I get it (the not in the mood part)... but think of the other things that can be done to "show interest" for later. (I will keep it PG, but think of just simple touching/contact without... um... hmmm... I guess "full service").

It can resolve things for the moment while leaving the door open for later. Plus there is the added bonus of desiring and thinking about that person the entire shift.