Once again, don't read too much into this. My advice would be to tell her, but I would not make the next call to her. Let her call you and when she inevitably asks, What's up," then you could let her know. It's also not necessary for you to answer a lot of questions about the new sitch, other than he will stay with you until he finds his own place and settles in.
As for the mystery, I'll presume that since this guy was your best man, you have a lot of joint war stories and you'll also be his guide and partner in finding the great lady places in Seattle. This is sure to catch W's attention, even if she acts as if she thinks it's great.
Btw, have you been in Seattle a long time? If so, do you remember a radio DJ Steve Rabow?
I like what both Renew and Merrick have said. I would wait until W brings it up, but I believe that the truth is ALWAYS the best route.
It sounds as if you guys can have some fun together.
Christine
I am the master of creating positive energy and love in my own environment. I am the source of love in my life. It starts with me! This energy radiates from me! It gives me strength, courage, wisdom and grace!
Seattle..I agree with all parties. Maybe this is something that could really work for you. It certainly won't hurt to have a friend around to be with more often.
I like this possibility....
Quote: ?I also wonder if this is Gods way of either helping me to appear like I'm moving on or telling me to move on?
Just remember whatever route you take...will it bring you closer to or farther from your goal?
p.s. Thanks for being there with supportive thoughts for me the past few days. Tootles........
One bad habit we all have, though we will rarely admit to ourselves, is worrying still about how our actions will affect or be perceived by WAS. We are still in the previous frame where we considered how our actions would relate to our spouse. Do they think about us when they do the things they do?
We must decide what we want and act accordingly.
Do want you want and do not worry about spouses reaction. I know, easier said than done.
Everyone else is right. Truth is the best option. Let her bring it up. Enjoy your friend. Don't sweat too much about what she's going to think because trying to get in WAS's head is a bad idea (take this from me, I was trying to live in that place and the lighting is really bad, not to mention the furniture).
You keep doing what you believe is right, the things that let you know when you look in the mirror that you're doing your best to be the guy you want to be and to treat your W the way you'd want to be treated. You have a great handle on things so far... and we're all pulling for you!
Quote: Don't sweat too much about what she's going to think because trying to get in WAS's head is a bad idea (take this from me, I was trying to live in that place and the lighting is really bad, not to mention the furniture).
Quote: Don't sweat too much about what she's going to think because trying to get in WAS's head is a bad idea (take this from me, I was trying to live in that place and the lighting is really bad, not to mention the furniture).
Christine
I am the master of creating positive energy and love in my own environment. I am the source of love in my life. It starts with me! This energy radiates from me! It gives me strength, courage, wisdom and grace!
Good to hear about the friend, that will be nice to have a buddy around! I'd say go ahead and tell W - drop in conversation next time you see her- doesn't have to be a big deal. Since you don't know how long friend is staying anyway, it would be truthful to say he is "staying w. you temporarily", right? Good way of showing the "your own life" thing to W, if anything may pull her feelings toward you thinking of the idea of you going out single with buddy. There is a fine line there, but as long as she knows you're not dating, but "could possibly have opportunities" - think this is classic DB. Friend moving in may be that special event that helps draw you two closer! 'As if 'attitude is magical in all this- decide it is going to happen, just a matter of time. Remember what is making you and the sitch feel down is those sad thoughts..... I challenge you to see this in a new way. Like plan it all out "as if"- friend temporary stay, and W will be coming back later! Belief nurtures intention- as water and sunlight to a plant. Lots of us get caught up in the words and anti-M plans our S's seem to have- the wisdom is underneath all that. Those words and even papers is their discontent flying out at us. It seems so intimidating, but think about how a wall cracks- feels like it is so hard - takes SO much to make dents in it, then finally you end up hitting pressure points and it crumbles. I'm pretty sure this is how it happens often. Progress can seem slow, but you are making more than you think. Inevitibly, some thing(s) will happen that really get through and the pieces will just start falling down. Look at all the plants blooming around you- it is coming on day by day.... look for it, make it that way..... Been thinking a lot about relationships and energy lately. It occurred to me that a relationship is never over unless both people let go- -when one hangs on, it "feels" one-sided, but in the logical aspect, one person still holding on means there is likelihood it will resume. Even when both people "let go" there is still distinct possiblity it can happen again down the line. Feelings get buried, - not something that just dies, and is gone. I think we underestimate how much we can influence others in our lives. You are a strong part in this!! grin:
Master the self-fulfilling prophecy.. Act 'as if' it's going to happen and make it be!!
Quote: Been thinking a lot about relationships and energy lately. It occurred to me that a relationship is never over unless both people let go- -when one hangs on, it "feels" one-sided, but in the logical aspect, one person still holding on means there is likelihood it will resume. Even when both people "let go" there is still distinct possiblity it can happen again down the line. Feelings get buried, - not something that just dies, and is gone. I think we underestimate how much we can influence others in our lives.
WOW! I find this very enticing. Very well said rj2.
Seattle rj2 seems to make some good points. With all of the POV you've gotten, have you decided how you're gonna handle it or are you swaying w/some decisions and will play it out when she asks?
